To Be Lothario
by Secretly Immortal
Summary: Lothario was defined as being an -and I quote - "unscrupulous seducer of women." So what, then, did it mean for Isabella to be Lothario? Well, to her it meant making Daddy proud. But no one really knew about Lothario, or the reincarnation of his first born child, so to everyone else, she was just a player. Eh, whatever. She still had options in a town this small...
1. Charm

**I don't own Twilight, neither do I own Lothario, or The Boys Wanna Be Her. Those all belong to different people, I just tiddle with them; but they're 18, I swear! **

**Forgive mistakes, won't you? And I was just wondering... should I continue with this and attempt to actually write it, or gift it, or just scrap it altogether? I can't decide... T_T It's tough deciding...**

* * *

In the curve of her hip, she found that she fit perfectly - or at least, her hands did. The curve of a hip, following the line of her waist, over her ribs - up, up, up... A pert nipple, pink, pretty, begging for her; and she smiled as she leaned down, tongue flicking out, touching, tasting, soothing - teeth were vicious, tongue was soft, and the moans were edible, she drank them in as she lavished the sweet pearl of flesh between her lips. A murmur of breath - low pants, the softest of moans she wouldn't hear were she any farther from her companion than she was right now (which was not far by any means) - the slight arch of a back, eyes fluttering, lips parting. She can taste it then, it's silky and delicious - _pleasure, _she thinks, _tastes of sweat on skin._

Fingers skimming, as her lips move to the other nipple - she finds it equivalent, and somehow, very satisfying - and she draws it in, sinks herself in those soft cries as she fingers a button. She flicks it open, slides her hand inside the cloth - she does not remove it, not yet, it should be savored, before she tastes - and finds... _Velvet._ Smooth, soft and supple, _warm_; it's incredibly warm, and she has a sudden sense that waiting will be quite impossible. An apology, as she slides down a slender body, her lips following the trail her fingers had etched into the skin - was she the only one that could still envision every pattern she'd traced on this body? - and she stops, kissing the top of the jeans, the button. _Like knocking on the door,_ and she wonders, shall she be allowed in?

A glance up, a small smile, and she is met with a grin, a blush; dark eyes, devouring her, waiting for her, begging for her - this is necessary, or one of them might very well die. She can tell, because those soft cries and keening whines, wordless begs that push and prod; she had no control, but that which she is given by those dark eyes, telling her every dirty secret she's ever imagined, whispering every plea she's ever wanted to hear. She smiles wider, kisses the skin above the line of the cloth, and begins to remove it. She must _savor_ it, even if she must taste, even if she must provide such sweet relief as those alluring eyes demand of her, she simply cannot rush this.

For every inch that is revealed, her lips caress, her tongue flicks out to taste - _sweet, like sugar_ - her fingers brush and glide, dance and touch. She must touch; she cannot live without the warmth of soft skin against her fingertips. Against her tongue. Against her own body. _Warm_, it's so very warm, the skin. _Soft_, how alluringly soft it is; it's mesmerizing, hypnotizing, so tempting. One thigh - _lick, kiss, nip_ - flowing down into a knee, and a calf - _lick, kiss, nip_ -, delicate ankles and feet. And she marvels, at how perfect even the _toes _are. She kisses them each, ignores the cries for attention until her name is the only cry. She draws back, pauses with eyes closed to savor the sound. It's never heard quite so sweet as now.

"_Please, please,_" She feels compelled to bow to the command, but she does not, not yet. A smile, quite devilish, as she crawls back up a lithe, soft body.

"What do you want?" she whispers in an ear, taking the lobe between her teeth - she knows, the ears are sensitive - to be met with a groan. It slices right to the heart of her, throbs in her core, and half-lidded eyes meet hers.

"_Please._" How can she say no? In many ways, as she has before, moment before. It would be infinitely easy, and she considers this for a moment - fingers thread through her hair, tug, lips touch - and she comes to realize that perhaps easy is exactly what she wants. It's all she needs, in any case, because the willing body bending to her touch beneath her is too much to deny, now; she waited, lasted as well as she could, but eventually even she would give in to the attentions of such a specimen. She met this one a while ago - she trails back up a torso, stopping to lavish a nipple with her tongue - and was content before now. She had that innate ability to attract her own sex that made her life extremely easy; she spent no long hours considering herself, and her preferences, but instead spent long hours enjoying and exploring.

It was fun. Exhilarating. She had certainly enjoyed herself - she continued to do so as much as she could today, still - and she wouldn't have wanted it any other way... Except for coming out to her mother by getting walked in on... that would have been nice to have gone a _little_ differently, but overall, she couldn't complain. Not now, not when her tongue was tangled in a warm, sweet mouth; not when her hands were grabbing naked hips and pulling an equally naked body against her; not when she was nudging her leg between two other legs, and not when she could feel wet warmth on her thigh. She just _couldn't_ complain. Things were too good to complain.

_Good? What an insignificant word._

Phenomenal. Now that was a word to fit the gods, and she felt god-like, in control; with just a twitch of her fingers, like a puppet, the body she held responded accordingly. It was power; she had such power over this body. It was intoxicating - or perhaps she was simply too intoxicated to tell the difference. She'd been drunk at one point in the night and had somehow sobered up, something she wasn't quite sure she liked, and something she was still sort of second-guessing. Maybe it was her, but all else around her was nonexistent, had drained of color and shape - she was fumbling in the dark, with only this body to hold on to, to anchor her to this world.

"_What?_" A whisper as a hand cups her face. She closes her eyes and leans into it, nuzzling and kissing the palm.

"You're beautiful," The response is just as soft as the question had been, and she can sense the blush, much more than she can see it. She pulls away then, with a smile, and slides back down that beautiful body. The door to her room opens as she settles her face between those beautiful, creamy thighs. She grasped the hips possessively, keeping her close as her tongue ran between slick folds.

"ISABELLA!" She closed her eyes, blocked out the noise

"_Stop! We should stop!_" A plea that she responds to. She draws back and grins up at a face red from chagrin, before tilting her head towards her mother and winking.

"Wanna join in, Hot Momma?"

_Thud._

"Guess not," Isabella shrugged, and with a smiled, tugged the girl closer by the grip she had on her hips. "Let's do this..."

"_But your mother!_" She squirmed, and in squirming the mood broke. It was a clean break, but annoyed the hell out of her. She pulled back with a scowl and crossed her arms over her chest. "_Is she alright?_"

"She's fainted... It's okay, I won't tell anyone; let's just finish up now..."

* * *

"_Who's that?_" She wasn't deaf, as much as people around her might, apparently, think. She could have easily turned and yelled some insult and a hardy reprimand for discussing her when she was wishing only to be left alone - the fact of the matter was that that just wasn't as _easy_ as doing nothing. She felt more inclined for laziness than ass kicker-y, at the moment, so she would revel in that laziness, soak up the joy, and wait for some asshole to step her way before she did anything. Smiling smugly to herself, she reached into her bag, withdrawing a pack of menthol Pall Malls. She opened the pack, taking out her lighter and a cigarette, stuck the cigarette between her lips. She cupped the flame - a sudden wind was blowing it wild, perhaps a good reason she should stop leaning outside of her open window - and inhaled slowly as she touched the flame to the end of her cigarette.

_Fuck yes._

Her eyes closed slightly as she leaned her head back, a small smile quirking up her lips. How good it was to smoke before school. She'd stopped doing the whole 'get-drunk-as-shit-and-go-to-school-while-continuing-to-secretly-get-steadily-more-intoxicated' lifestyle, and it was true, what she'd once heard a brother of a friend mutter, something about always being an alcoholic, or always smoking; they were addictions you could escape from, but never at the same time. Some BS like that. She watched the smoke puff out as she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth, hand dangling out the window as she flicked the ash out on the pavement.

"_OHMIGOSH!_"

"_Do you SEE that?_"

"_I can't believe-_"

"_She's SMOKING-_"

She winced slightly, withdrew her hand with a grimace and rolled the window up. Whatever. She had an ash tray. And besides, it was harder to listen to her music if there were idiot teenagers -_ fuck teenagers, she was so fucking glad she'd skipped that stage in life!_ - crowing about how she enjoyed a few puffs of cancer stick. Big whoop. Wasn't illegal, she was eighteen. _She couldn't handle this, not this early in the morning, having had only one cup of coffee, and not even half a cigarette._ Plus, she hadn't had breakfast. She liked sleep more than she liked eating, sadly. So she'd slept late - on purpose, of course - had run out with the coffee and... _Now she was fucking hungry; perfect._ God, she needed a cigarette... _hah, naaah, she had one!_

_To you they crawl, body sprawl _

_Smokin' Pall malls, close call, stand tall_

_Doll, you make them feel so small_

_(And they love it)_

"Fuck yes! Today is a _good_ day!" She began to laugh giddily, smiling widely and bouncing in her seat as the beat went on in the background. It was total coincidence that her iPod just so happened to play her favorite song right now; she believed, though, that it must be fate. It was a sign that things were going to be good. _No_, better than that; things were going to be _phenomenal_ (she chuckles to herself), and she was going to be having fun. _And on that note, time for school!_ She smiled around the cigarette as she inhaled, before ashing it in the ashtray and snapping the ashtray closed. She turned her car off and slid out, locking it before she lightly kicked the door closed behind her. The cigarette was still between her lips as she widely grinned at everyone openly staring at her. She winked at a few of them, giving them one of those _looks_ that she had, and smiled to herself to hear the sighs and feel the eyes on her.

_Oh yeah, she was hot; damn straight!_

"_Did you see?_"

"_She was looking at ME!_"

She was smirking, and almost regretted not bringing her 'I'm a fucking BADASS' sunglasses, but remembered that, although she would have looked very much like a badass, there was no sun and she would have looked absolutely ridiculous. Whatever. She could always bring them at a later date. Either way, she'd have a few more notches in her bed post before the end of the day. A grin, and a short laugh, before she drops the cigarette and steps on it, grinding it out with her boot. _That's right; WATCH._ She secretly loved it, relished in it, _the eyes on her;_ something about it was strangely addictive. Perhaps she was just vain. She liked to think of it as; her being the center of attention meant that at any time, she could easily fuck with the heads of at least five people at one time. That was too good a chance to just throw away.

"Excuse me, you must be-"

"Izzy B, if you please; nothing more, nothing less." She told the boy in a clipped tone, glancing icily at him. "To you, at least."

"O-oh, umm, Izzy... B, then," He glanced around nervously when her glare never defrosted. "So, I'll just, umm, go."

"Solid planning," She finally bothered to smile, and nodded sagely, giving him a thumbs up before she turned her back, rolling her eyes as she did so. _What an idiot._

"My name is Mike, by the way!" He called after her as she walked away. Hated to see her go, loved to watch her leave

"I prefer cats and stop staring at my butt, by the way!" She called over her shoulder, smirking at him as he yelped and spun around, heading for the hills... or, just his group of friends that would rag on him all day for being shot down quite heartlessly by the new girl. Whatever. He deserved whatever was coming to him. She just so happened to be too lazy to do it herself. She hardly had enough will in her body to even bother stepping out of her car today. Just because she'd stopped getting drunk before school didn't mean she stopped sneaking around the alcohol. Maybe she could sell it to some of the minors around here, make a quick buck, and rid herself of evidence, "uncle" Charlie was a cop, after all, and it was sorta suspicious that she'd _insisted_ she should drive across the country in her car, rather than take a plane.

She didn't even want to imagine trying to get a trunk full of sex toys on a plane - she had, right when her "mother" had told her she was going to buy a plane ticket; she'd had the horrible realization that she did not want to go through the trouble of security when her sex toys came into question - so her driving across the country was really the only way she could get away with her dignity, and collection, intact. Some of those things were actually genuinely difficult to find; hell, some of her shit was _custom_, and she couldn't just stumble upon it again. Therefore, taking that into account, and the fact that her stash was hidden in her car, she couldn't have just taken a plane and left her poor lil' Mustang home all alone; how would she have felt if she were a Mustang filled with alcohol and liquor, and one day her driver just left her?... Alright, implausible, whatever.

The fact of the matter remained that she simply _could not_ leave her baby in Phoenix. It was a 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 (428 Cobra Jet, but she _wasn't_ bragging about it or anything...). She would have had to be crazy - absolutely bat-shit crazy - to leave that all alone in the desert. Small town folk were less likely to feel tempted to steal this from her... Okay, so maybe it wasn't in the best condition - a little rough around the edges, a ding here or there she could buff out (she _swore!_) - but still, stealing her car was much less likely to happen here than it _almost_ had in Phoenix, so there. The fact of the matter was that this car wasn't the shiniest one in the lot - that prize actually belonged to a canary-ass-yellow Porsche, sitting next to an equally shiny silver Volvo, and a white Jeep mostly covered in mud - but she was pretty sure it was the fastest. Yeah, that Porsche could suck Chester's cock - that was her car, Chester - and die. She could win that race _any_ day.

When she glanced back at her car reflexively, smiling to herself, it was to find a tall blonde - whom, she could tell, was very beautiful, even from far away - leaning over the car. Her mouth was a blur as she spoke, obviously quite excitedly, to her companions; a smaller dark-haired girl - hair so dark, it was practically black - and a taller dark-haired... monster. She assumed monster, because he made Frankenstein look like Franken-weenie. She had to smirk when she caught the blonde as she glanced up at her; she seemed almost embarrassed, and immediately straightened up, trying to brush her chest off like she hadn't been fangirling - _whatever_, she knew, and that was all that mattered. Isabella laughed to herself as she turned and finally made her way into the office - she _did_ have an original purpose for stepping out of her car, other than acting like a total badass (which she was, but still).

The woman sitting behind the desk looked terribly bored. Isabella took the time to smirk as she studied the woman for half a second. She had an innate sense for beauty, and could tell that the woman - a Mrs. Cope, if the name tag was anything to go by - had once been rather attractive. She could imagine eyes brightened with youth, a body slender before time took its toll, and she liked that image. Enough that she was smiling rather widely when she stepped over to the desk, leaned over, and began to work her charm quite effectively.

"Hello there, beautiful," The skeptical look shot her way was answered with a wink and a smirk. _Ahhh_, and there was the blush she was fishing for. Easy. "Could you possibly help me?" She was in her early to mid-forties; that was in no way too old for her. Sure, Mrs. Cope wasn't as young as she used to be, but that didn't detract from the fact that beauty still shone underneath the few extra pounds. _She'd always liked red heads, anyway..._

"W-w-I... How could I h-help you?" Oh, a stutter, how endearing! Her last favorite - Annabelle... or was it Jenny? - had a little stutter too, except when they were beneath the sheets. She could talk amazingly clear then. Well, not _talk_, per se, but... she certainly wasn't _stuttering._

"Yes, I'm Isabella Swan; today's my first day and..." she trailed off, allowing the woman to make her own assumptions.

"Oh! Charlie Swan's daughter-"

"Uh, niece," she interjected, with a small smile. "By marriage." _Cough, cough, she was totally legal and not in any way actually connected to the popo, cough, cough... _Mrs. Cope gave her a smile that really brought out her green eyes - they were actually what made her beautiful; they had flecks of gold and hazel in them, which really made them such a pretty picture - and she smiled in return to see it.

"Oh, yes, of course. Well, we've heard quite a lot about you..." By the way those eyes trailed over what was visible of her body, Isabella was sure she knew _exactly_ what had been said. Hot, young, single, and the awesome ability to seduce women. Of course she'd be the talk of the town. "But I never actually heard how beautiful you were!" It was supposed to be subtle, but was actually way obvious; she didn't mind though, and had to force herself to blush and duck her head slightly, as if embarrassed. She had this down to an artwork. She was the master of manipulation.

"You're too kind, I'm not so beautiful as you," Through the next onslaught of titters, she was smirking to herself, inwardly patting her back. God, it should illegal how amazing she was at this shit. She should be an actress... or a con-woman, either way, she would be so fucking good at it! The bell rang suddenly, loud and shrill in Isabella's ears; she winced and offered Mrs. Cope a disappointed smile. "I'll have to be leaving now..."

"Oh, I've made you late, and I haven't even- where are my manners!" She began to mutter to herself as she turned around, searching through a file cabinet for Isabella's documents. "Ah! Here they are!" She pulled out the folder and spun around, withdrawing a few pieces of paper and handing them over to the brunette still smiling sweetly and waiting patiently for her. "This is your schedule, a map of the school, and a slip I need you to get your teachers to sign to return to me at the end of the day." She pointed to each paper as she set them down on the counter in front of Isabella.

"Thank you kindly, ma'am," She bowed dramatically as she pulled the papers from the counter - Mrs. Cope was tittering again, and she couldn't help the smirk that tugged her lips up. "And I look forward to seeing you later." It was accompanied with a wink, and Mrs. Cope - blushing prettily - hastily murmured something along the same lines as that as Isabella turned on her heel and left.

_Step one: Charm the office staff. _

_Check._


	2. Acting the Part

**Hmm, forgot to mention, VERY OOC! Very, very much of it. Mostly cuz B is like, off the fuckin' wall, sorta OOC. We love it, don't we? Of course we do. Ahh, I could have slipped a lot more Spanish that I know in here! Damn it! T_T Booo. I speak Spanglish so fluently, too.**

**Now, I'm not gonna do lyrics to some song every chapter, but songs/lyrics that I think apply to Izzy. Also, this song is I'm A Player, by KGB. Which I feel fits her very well... except the part where he's like "Nah, I'm not **_**actually**_** a player" because she ACTUALLY is a player in this, so... You'll forgive mistakes, won't you?**

* * *

Senora Gomez was... funny. Or maybe she just thought that because she was immature. It wasn't her fault that she had Spanish first period, and that she had already taken it and knew Spanish well enough for this class to be easier than most of the chicks she'd screwed in the last week - at _least_ five, and she wasn't counting that threesome with those two girls she'd later separately hooked up with and subsequently fucked - so, she wasn't really looking to learn, so much as to entertain herself for the duration of this class period. In doing so, she'd discovered that Gomez was a very funny little lady. And she did mean _little_.

Senora Gomez was probably exactly five feet tall, a bit old - from the wrinkles around her eyes and the few streaks of gray in her hair -, and had a bit of an accent, but she was still absolutely hilarious. No one else in the class was advanced enough to realize that she and Senora Gomez were poking fun at them, ever since she'd first walked into the room with a bright smile and a ¿Cómo estás? falling from her lips. The following conversation, lasting a total of two minutes, booted her straight to first place on Senora Gomez's secret group of favorite students, partially for the fact that she not only understood the Spanish and responded accordingly, but that she was so very cordial. Even some women were off-limits to her - she respected the graying, that's all she would say.

But, between calling teenagers thieves and schemers, she'd convinced Senora Gomez that she could happily help tutoring... for the low, low price of a few excuses that would let her get outside every day. Yeah, she had those "please excuse this student for blah, blah, blah" slips stacked up in her bag right now, and was just waiting to use them. They were all blank, except for Senora Gomez's signature on each. And right now, she could use a cigarette. She raised her hand slightly, smiling sweetly as Senora Gomez came over, still speaking Spanish very slowly, and trying to get the students to repeat it along with her. That was the trouble with a foreign language first in the morning; teenagers were tired and sleepy and generally just didn't want to do the work.

"Clase!" The class, some mumbling along with Senora Gomez, but slowly and half-heartedly (at best), finally seemed to perk up at the louder tone, meant to get their attention. Senora Gomez quickly fired something off at them, and a few, who had paid attention the previous quarter, actually _sort of_ understood, and grabbed their books to start searching out the page number, most, however, just glanced around confused.

"_What'd she say?_" one girl leaned over to look at the girl's book next to her. Isabella rolled her eyes - _fuckin' teenagers, no damn respect for Spanish!_ - and paused to turn slightly in her seat. Everyone was trying to secretly watch her, if she even twitched, everyone's eyes followed the movement, so it was easy to catch the girl's eyes and smirk - cue brilliant blush (Isabella smiled to see it, and winked at the girl) - to keep the attention.

"She said open your books to pagina ochenta y dos and copy down all the vocabulario," The Spanglish was delivered in a very seemingly sweet tone, but behind it she was imagining all the ways to punch someone in the face. Seriously, she was tired of playing nice. Turning back to Senora Gomez, she offered and smile and a short apology, but it was brushed off. She was happy to let her would-be smoke break get drawn out by the conversation she was having with the sweet, old woman - she was so cute and little too, like a Spanish speaking puppy! - but eventually she excused herself, withdrawing a pass and winking at the woman as she stood from her seat, swinging her bag over one shoulder. The teacher didn't mind at all, even escorted her to the door and waved her down the hallway.

What a sweet lady, too bad she wasn't up to taking advantage of her, because Gomez really deserved a reward for being, very possibly, the coolest fucking teacher ever. All she had to do was give her some candy now, and she _would_ be the coolest fucking teacher ever. Better yet, buy her some more cigarettes; she was low, and she doubted Charlie would appreciate too much if she just sorta bought cigarettes in town and let everyone know that she... Oh wait, teenagers had seen her smoking this morning, which meant that the whole town would know by the end of the school day...

Alright, fuck it, she was going to buy some Black & Mild's and fuckin' chill. Damn... good times she'd had with Black & Mild's and a few friends - little secret, you take out the cancer paper and it hits so much harder - to smoke with. It had felt good then, relax in the shade, trade stories, cigarettes - the occasional cigar (and she wasn't adverse to a blunt here or there) - laugh and have a gay ol' time. The fact that she smoked almost exclusively with the gay group at her old school made that a very literal statement. She'd heard the argument that if homosexuality was such a _bad_ thing, gay wouldn't be another word for happy, so many times that she had very much come to accept it as fact. She was gay, and she was _damn_ happy, and the gay friends she'd had then had been pretty fuckin' skippy too. Therefore, through half-baked logic, the statement that gay was good, was exactly true.

Obviously.

Stepping outside, she grimaced to herself to find that things here would be _vastly_ different than they had been in Arizona; for one, the sun never shone here, as far as she could tell, and two, it was raining like a mother fucker out there. Some seriously fat drops that didn't _actually_ drop, so much as _plop_ on any surface. She frowned to see it - she... honest to god could not remember the last time she'd seen rain. She'd _never _had that problem of huddling under the cover of trees, one of her gay friend holding an umbrella that switched hands every time the cigarette was passed, because it _never _rained in Phoenix, and that shit was unnecessary even if it did. Any rain lasted like... some point five seconds, and was more of a misting than anything, a misting that would blow away faster than the smoke they would blow out.

"Damn, it's raining retarded hard right now..." Isabella muttered to herself, pulling the black leather jacket she wore tighter around herself before she began an all-out sprint for her car, eyes squinted against the onslaught of rain. She slid over the hood - and there went her pants, completely soaked through - and unlocked the car door as quickly as possible, slipping inside just as fast so she could turn the car on and start both the heat and her music up. Next she kicked her boots off, tossing them in the passenger side as she unzipped her tight black jeans and began to wriggle out as best she could - which was very difficult to accomplish when her jeans were already tight and were _wet_. By the time she'd finally managed to kick her jeans off, she'd already pulled the boy shorts she wore underneath nearly off. They were rolled/bunched around her thighs, and she was just _barely_ modest, and hardly comfortable. They were wet too, _damn it._

_Fuck it, she was going commando._

It was really the easiest way to allow her underwear to dry. And despite that she wasn't much a fan of thongs; she knew she had a good few lying around the car, somewhere. Probably in her trunk, because she'd had to clean out her car before she drove down here. Didn't want "uncle" Charlie to notice the spoils of war going on in the back. War with men, and their abilities to pick up women. She was still winning. Now that she thought about it, she probably had a skirt or something too, maybe some pants, shirts, boxers... She could practically live out of her car with the amount of clothing she'd gathered! _And maybe, just maybe..._ She leaned over and opened the glove compartment, grinning gleefully when a few pairs of underwear tumbled out. _And there they were_, her favorite pair of boxers... how they ended up in her car, she wasn't sure, but she had previously thought them to be stolen by that one blonde bimbo from eons ago (cough, three months ago, cough, cough), so this was the find of the century for her.

She finally grabbed her bag from the floor, reaching inside and searching around for her pack, before she managed to find it. She smiled to herself as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly. As the smoke filled the air around her head and in her lungs as she inhaled, she reached over and turned the volume up, allowing the music playing from her iPod to pump softly through the speakers in her car.

_I'm just a freak every day of the week  
I need to find a new girl to come play with me  
Here kitty kitty we can get busy  
You're so young and oh so pretty_

She smirked to herself and snorted softly. Today was the day of awesome music; it had to be true, because her iPod was playing awesome-ass music today. And maybe it was just her, but her AC was working great today, too! Why, she wasn't wearing pants, and was just now pulling on boxers, but she felt like she would break into a sweat any second! She quickly shed her jacket, tossing it behind her into the back seat, and leaned back, lifting her hips from the seat so she could pull the boxers up. And there went her modesty, perfectly intact. _Although, she WAS planning on going commando... _Whatever. There was always Tuesday. And she was just glad that she had breasts small enough that a bra wasn't necessary; _freakin' medieval torture devices, bras, they were so uncomfortable! _She lips curled up in a grin, smoke twisting past her lips and drifting in the air around her head before dispersing.

She was wearing a thin, white tank top, and she was soaked. _Oh, if only someone where to walk by right about now, she could just..._

_Knock. Knock._

She turned slightly and glanced at the person standing outside of her window. _Ohh, hello hot stuff, how YOU doin'?_ She pulled the cigarette from her lips, opening the ash tray without glancing away from nervous gray eyes, and quickly dropped her cigarette inside, snapping it closed as she grinned and rolled her window down. _Irony or fate?_ She wondered as she noticed that the woman was older, but still very young - and there was her nametag, a young Miss Williams, school nurse. She smiled inwardly, and glanced up at the women through her lashes. Turning on the charm was actually a very literal phrase for her, and she turned it on high as she looked at the blonde woman holding an umbrella above them both.

"What are you doing out of class?"

_Wasn't that obvious? She was attempting to reign in her sexual prowess with cigarettes, duh._ Otherwise she would walk into a room and at least five women would instantly rape her with their eyes. It was why she smoked; it kept the tension down to a more agreeable level of screwing once or twice on a daily basis, and everything turning out a-okay from there.

"The real question is, what are you doing in the rain?" Isabella returned, a smile slowly spreading across her lips. "Especially considering how cold it is out there... and how warm it is in here."

"I..." Natalie - that was her name, Natalie Williams - hesitated, trying to tear her gaze from Isabella's as she felt herself beginning to flush. It wasn't working though, she was caught in that gaze, in those eyes burning a trail across the expanse of her face, her neck; she was caught in the scent of smoke - and she _detested _cigarette smoke - and that _something_ else underneath it, that _something_ that was so... _mouthwatering._

"Should probably come in, before you get too wet..." Isabella smiled as she opened the door and Natalie stepped back so she could. Still looking uncertain, Isabella grinned and reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling the blonde closer to her. "So... you better hurry, since you've gotta warm up and get to school... and you can't just stand there getting soaked..."

The umbrella was folded up, and tossed in her passenger seat before she could hardly formulate any more not-so-subtle sexual innuendos; within the next second Natalie was on her - _wow, _maybe she'd turned the charm on too much... - straddling her lap, tangling her fingers in Isabella's hair as she attempted to ravish her mouth. Isabella smiled at the effort - _sorry sweetheart, only one dom here, and it ain't you_ - as she slammed the door closed behind her and reached down, pulling the lever that let her seat drop back flat, and then she lifted Natalie up so she could shift their positions.

"Oh! You're strong...!" Natalie gasped as she was set gently down on her back - she'd practically been cradled to Isabella's chest when she was being lifted, and she _knew_ she wasn't some light-as-a-feather sorta gal - and Isabella smiled down at her.

"So I've heard," Isabella effectively shut down any more attempts for conversation as she dove in for a kiss and stayed down for a tongue war - she was winning, by the way. As distracted as Natalie was by the hot mouth on hers, she was quite unaware of the hands making quick work of the buttons keeping her blouse closed and conservative. _God yes; she'd needed a good fuck!_ The thought brought her screeching to a halt and she quickly began to draw back, retracting her arms from around Isabella's neck, pulling her fingers from Isabella's hair, and pushing the younger girl back by her shoulder. "What the-"

"Wait!" Natalie panted, trying to slap Isabella's hands away from her. Those hands were tempting little devils; they'd been sliding up her skirt.

"What?" Isabella looked worried for a moment, catching sight of the fear in Natalie's eyes.

"W-we can't _do_ this!" she whispered furiously, cheeks red hot as her eyes flicked around, as if expecting to see a few spectators videotaping them. Isabella's lips twitched down into a slight frown as she furrowed her brows in confusion. _What was this woman talking about?_ One second she was ready and rearing to get naked and get it on, and now she suddenly prudes up and cunt punt's her? Not cool. She had an unfair advantage and she was not afraid to use it, because she had _not_ had sex before school, and on the off chance that Cope was a no-go later today... _But then, she DID have an unfair advantage, what was the fun in using it if the flesh was not willing?_ It wouldn't enhance the pleasure then, just force it. _FUCK!_ "You're a student and-"

"I'm also eighteen, and you aren't a teacher." she pointed out with a sigh as she sat back on her knees, straddling the woman. Her torso was bared, the blouse thrown open already and _damn_ that red, lacy bra looked _so good_ on little miss prudish nurse. She wouldn't wear one, but she sure could appreciate it on other.

"But I am part of the faculty of this school and-"

"It's illegal," Isabella finished for her. Sweat stood out in beads on the woman's head, and she was flushed and panting; _shit_, why did she have to look so damned fuckable! And suddenly, Isabella was struck by genius. The oldest trick in the book, older than getting your partner naked (she should have thought of it sooner, damn it!) was, of course, to get naked yourself! And she'd been told - much like she'd been told 'oh golly gee, you're _strong_' - that she had an amazing body. She did. It was all in the genes. "Fine, but I'm taking my shirt off anyway, you still have yours if you wanna leave..." And with that said, in the best petulant tone she could muster, she pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it on top of her boots. She glanced back at Natalie to find her lips parted as she stared in wide-eyed shock at the picture of perfect health before her.

"As a nurse..." Natalie began slowly as she licked her lips and trailed her eyes of deliciously taut muscle; she'd always found it strange when women had abs (wasn't that sort of a guy thing?), but now... "I care for the sick, and appreciate the healthy."

"Oh?" Isabella was smirking as the blonde shifted - she noticed the way the blonde was subtly trying to get a little _friction_ (and all she had to do was ask, too!) - and finally met her eyes. Half-lidded. Fuck me stupid, sort of eyes. She'd seen them often, and almost couldn't help the smirk that started to quirk her lips up.

"Mhmm," Her hands were trailing up Isabella's thighs, over her stomach - her eyes fluttered as she sighed in pleasure - and stopping to cup her breasts, brushing her thumbs of Isabella's nipples. She hissed in pleasure and the nurse smiled - cheeky monkey, she'd get _hers_ - and nodded. "Oh yes, and as healthy as you are, I believe it is my solemn duty to appreciate you." Isabella's grin was wolfish as she gently grabbed those hands, collecting both in one of hers and lowering them down until she was leaning over the nurse, pinning her to the seat.

"That's wonderful. Call me Lothario; it's a bit of a mouthful but you'll get it-" She pressed her lips savagely to the nurse, pressing one thigh against a soaking wet, panty covered core. She drew back with a smirk, licking her lips. "-Once you scream it a few hundred times for me."

* * *

**So gimme gimme that sauce girl aw girl  
Maybe we could hit it off girl **

**Sorry, had to have a few more lines from "I'm a Player" in there. There are so many parts of that song that apply to Bella in this story! And just so we understand, Bella **_**isn't**_** quite human, but **_**not quite**_** supernatural. She's a reincarnation... But B's gonna be sorta badass in this. In case you couldn't tell. Next chapter she meets the Cullen's WOOO! ^^ So, tell me what you think, eh?**


	3. Unflinching Confidence

**Hmm... I totally get Stephenie Meyer... I mean, writing anything while listening to Muse is a good idea. Well, Muse and Co... like the Lords of Acid, Superbus, The Prodigy, Priestess, The Strokes, Queens of the Stone Age... **

**In any case, ignoring my mistakes would be great; thaaanks. And wow, a chapter where B _doesn't_ have sex! Crazy shit, I'm tellin' ya...**

* * *

When Isabella stepped into Mr. Dalton's history class some time later, she was smiling - really, more of a Cheshire cat grin - as she licked the tip of her index finger. It was utterly impossible to resist the urge to throw a wink at the occupants of the room as she grabbed that slip she needed to get signed from her back pocket and made her way to the teacher. He was standing at the board, with his back to the class, talking as he wrote down names of some important figures from some important battle where somebody did something and blah... blah... blah. Whatever. She was glad she'd missed the first hour of his class for this bull shit. It was boring; she'd pass all the tests without studying anyway. So this, her coming to class, was really more of a formality than anything else.

"'Scuse me!" She called loudly, practically yelling. Mr. Dalton flinched and whipped around, gripping at his heart. "Cool. Now that I have your attention, sign this." She smiled brightly as she slapped the folded up sheet of paper down on the desk in front of him. He glanced from her to the paper in wide-eyed, open mouthed shock, before he snapped his mouth shut and his face began to turn red.

"I should-" She'd already turned her back on him and started towards her desk. "DON'T YOU TURN AWAY FROM ME, YOUNG LADY!" She winced at the volume, stopping after one step so she could reach up and rub at one ear.

"Did I," She addressed the class, one hand on her chest. "Ask him-" She pointed a thumb over one shoulder now, towards where Mr. Dalton was emerging from around his desk. "To yell? I don't think I did... Why are you yelling?" She turned a curious gaze on him, while he stood over her, attempting to intimidate her. She stared at him blankly, blinking slowly, one brow rising questioningly. Did this bro have a problem with her? She didn't really give shit enough to ask him; she was actually sort of hoping he could just... gradually fade away. After he'd signed her paper, of course.

"You come into my classroom an hour late, and expect me to sign something for _you!_" He was raising his voice now, and that was just not acceptable. She wasn't deaf; this was just being rude for no reason whatsoever, she had been helping _him_ out by having sex with the school nurse (honest!). Whatever. He could throw his little pissy-fit, she could deal with it, and then she'd get him to sign this thing and be on her way out to a smoke break again. She, secretly, was not good at dealing with people without a cigarette to keep her from kicking/punching them in the face. Unless they were like Senora Gomez, of course. Her lips curled up at the thought, but Mr. Dalton seemed to think she was laughing at him. "WHY I-"

"Hey, hey! Calm thyself, Iago! It's fine, just sign the paper and we can get on with life, eh? It's very simple." She glanced at the class when she heard a few snickers, and found them all staring hard, in various stages of laughing or trying to cover up the fact that they were laughing. What? She have somethin' on her face? Had she said something funny? They really weren't going to help her situation, whatever the deal was; she couldn't stand to see smiling, laughing faces without cracking a grin. She was just that naturally affected by general happiness. It was a good thing to be affected by, if she were being honest. At least she wasn't all doom and gloom if no one bothered her or was around her for too long.

"YOU COME IN, an _HOUR_ late, and YOU-"

"YES! I am asking you to sign a freakin' piece of paper! Get OVER it. For the love of GOD!" He began to splutter, and she _swore_, he was turning purple. Awesome, he was having a heart attack. That's _exactly_ what she needed right now.

"You come in here, dressed like THAT!" He gestured to her soaked tank top, and total lack of jacket and bra. _Fucker was lucky she was wearing pants in the first place!_

"SEXUAL HARRASMENT!" She yelled suddenly, slapping an arm over her chest as she jumped back from him before he could finish his rant about how improper she was. He wanted to play this game, point fingers, yell claims? Bring it the fuck on. If she could beat men at everything else, she could _surely_ beat a man at arguing. Poor sucker, he wasn't going to know what hit him till he was bleeding out on the ground. She spun around then, looking to all the girls in the class while the color drained from the teacher's face.

"W-what?"

"Did you see that! He was staring at my breasts, that's harrassment! And if it's my first day, I shudder to think what he's done to you all!"

"HUH?" She spun back around; hands on her hips, a fierce glare on her face, and started to step towards him, causing him to back up nervously as the power of her stare shook him to his core.

"That's illegal! And my uncle's a cop, I could have you arrested!"

"But I didn't-"

"Unless..." She trailed off, her glare dropping into a small grin. "You sign my paper!" She handed it over to him, and he looked between the paper, and her smiling face. "Jail time, or signing the paper; what a choice, huh? Because I'm sure all the girls in this class would not mind pressing charges for your sexual harassment." Or she could persuade them to; it wasn't that hard to convince teenagers that an older, male teacher was digging them. Get them to make a few assumptions, blow things out of proportion - as teenagers _so often_ do - and ta-da, she had a whole court drama! Mr. Dalton seemed to see that in the way her lips curled up and her eyes shone, because he quickly took a pen from his shirt pocket, put his signature on the first line he could sign, and handed it back to her. She leaned forward, giving him a good view of her breasts as her shirt hung down from her lithe frame, whispering lowly to him as she pat his shoulder roughly - and yes, she was hurting him, _on purpose_. "Why _thank_ you, Mr. D! We'll get along _great_; I just know it!"

The fact that she was an incorrigible bitch was not news to her. She was quite proud of it, actually. She preferred things that way.

She made her way back to the only empty chair, next to this young man - whom she thought would look damn pretty in a dress - and plopped down in it with a smile. The man next to her - _boy_ seemed too modest for him - was what she would never have expected a man to be; beautiful. She saw it, and noticed a few light, barely noticeable scars on him too; he was confidant, she noted, and she respected him for carrying himself the way he did despite the scars. He grinned at her when she smirked at him, and they both began to laugh softly.

"That, right there ma'am, was impressive. I must say I've never seen a woman manhandle a man like that before. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," He held a hand out. She smiled when she gripped it firmly and shook his hand once - and he was cold, but she didn't really care, because she'd always had warmer hands than anyone else. She liked to think of herself as the body heater. It made her laugh, which was the exact reason she liked it. "Jasper Hale."

"Isabella Swan; and the pleasure's entirely mine," He had a very firm handshake. Good man. She liked him, for a reason she wasn't quite sure, she knew that she liked this man right here. "So, this guy an ass?" She withdrew her hand and gestured with a nod of her heard towards Mr. Dalton, trying to get back into the groove of teaching a class of rowdy students. Rowdy, now that Isabella had entered, all see-through-shirts and take-no-shits attitude, and kicked his pride in the balls. It didn't help that she was extremely attractive, thus garnering a lot of attention for long, longing glances at her profile.

"Eh," Jasper shrugged.

"Figured. He was too easy to handle for him to be calm and collected," She turned to look at him work, and in doing so, more than half of the class turned forward too, blushing and shamed to be caught staring. She didn't notice. "Anyone else would have told me to put a jacket on or something, and laughed that shit off. He _was_ staring!" She snickered, and grinned wolfishly back at Jasper. "I got him _good._"

"It was a mighty fine display," Jasper grinned right back at her as he relaxed back into his chair. Something about her was different; her scent was such a strange one - cigarettes and sex - that he couldn't really work up a blood lust for her. It was... very calming. Plus, her ability to play with emotion like she just had was _beyond_ amazing. She'd just beaten him down, without touching him. He couldn't help but like her.

"Thank you kindly, sir," She winked at him, and he chuckled.

"So, how do you-"

"Ask how I like it here and I will punch you," She sighed softly, tossing the comment at him casually.

"Err, where'd you come from?" He switched tactics quickly, grinning. She grinned back brightly.

"Phoenix, and why yes I am not that tan. I ain't pale either, so get off my back."

"I... didn't say anything..." Jasper informed her slowly.

"You were going to," she smiled sweetly at him. "Don't lie."

"Why ma'am, I wouldn't dream of it!" Her eyes narrowed as she regarded him suspiciously, trying to hide her smile.

"Oh really?"

"On my honor." She began to laugh, not bothering to hide her smile then.

"Well, I guess I'd have to trust you then, hmm?" She winked at him playfully, speaking out of the side of her mouth and glancing back at the teacher as she leaned forward, her elbows on the desk, cradling her head in one hand. She began to smile then, for a reason he couldn't quite decipher, and glanced at him expectantly out of the corner of her eyes. "So you gonna ask me why I'm here?"

"Is it okay to?" He was content to sit in silence, and she appeared to be able to as well, but something about the question had her trying to hold in throaty chuckles now. His curiosity _was_ piqued, but he would refrain from asking if this was another touchy subject.

"Perfectly fine," She was still smiling when she turned her body to face his, giving him her full attention. He didn't miss how at least five people noticed this and turned back to watch her again, and he was rather sure she'd seen it too, but she didn't say anything about it so he continued with the questioning.

"Alright then, why, oh why did you leave bright, sunny Phoenix just to end up in rainy, dreary Forks?" Her smile curled into a devilish grin that garnered a few more hard stares.

"My mom caught me fucking."

* * *

"Oh _gawd_, it was beautiful! I don't say that often, but it was beautiful!" Rosalie sighed as she practically melted into her seat. Emmett was on one side of her, trying to pay attention to what she was talking about - but, come on, it wasn't video games! - and failing to do so, while Alice sat on the other side of her, smiling slightly and nodding along with what her sister was babbling about. It wasn't often that Rosalie would babble, so she was half listening, half storing this encounter of the twelfth kind away in her mind for further purposes of blackmail. Rosalie fangirling was not something that she would want to get out, so of course Alice would have to take advantage of it for a good laugh every now and then. "I wanted to pop the hood open _sooo_ bad! I thought I would die."

"You are dead," Edward informed her as he glanced up from pretending to eat his lunch.

"Shut up!" She snapped at him, before turning back to Alice and Emmett and continuing to babble incessantly about the car she'd found in the parking lot. _Girls and their toys_, Edward sighed to himself, shaking his head. Really, he just _couldn't_ understand, and he could read minds; so that was saying a lot. However, he _was_ going to go crazy if he had to listen to Rosalie talk about mechanical blah for the next half hour.

"Oh no," he intoned suddenly, sort-of loudly, to get his sibling's attention as he began to glance around with 'worry' and 'concern' etched into his features. "Jasper's not here! Whatever shall we do?"

"Jasper's a big boy," Rosalie rolled her eyes at Edward. God, he was _such_ a drama queen!

"B-but Edward's totally right!" Emmett stuttered when he caught the pleading look from his elder brother. "I mean, when has Jazzy ever been late?" Rosalie snorted as she turned to face Emmett, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Really Em? You too? God, you guys are such pansies! Please tell me you aren't worried, Alice... Alice?" She glanced back at her sister, who had a notebook out that she was doodling in. It was a stick figure with what she could only guess were big breasts, and they were strangling a stick figure with a very thick outline while two others stood by and watched. One was laughably longer than the other, and Rosalie quirked a brow to see her labeling them. The thick one was Emmett, whom she was, apparently, strangling, while Alice (who was the 'tall' one) and Edward watched on. "Alice, what are you doing?"

"Em's gonna play a prank on you. This is the outcome," She smiled brightly up at Rosalie, and when Rose turned to glare heatedly at her large brother, Alice winked in Edward's direction. She wrote her taller stick figure saying '_you're welcome, Eddie_' and erased it before Emmett could draw attention to her. Didn't mean he didn't try, though.

"That's not true! Look, she made herself tall, so she's obviously just delusional!" Rosalie huffed and glanced over her shoulder, at the stick figure that was Alice (taller than everyone else around her) and finding the expression on the figure's face to be annoyance. The words '_fuck you!_' were around her head, in a little word bubble. "Hey!"

"What? I didn't say it, she did," Alice shrugged and glanced away, not even smiling.

"You drew her- that is not important! That _is_ you!" Emmett insisted, trying to lean over Rosalie to glare at Alice.

"That's hardly my fault," Alice sniffed disdainfully, looking at her nails and ignoring her brother.

"Pft! Hardly your- OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT! You _drew_ it!"

"How do you know? Maybe Edward drew it?" Alice pursed her lips and gave him an expectant look. So he wanted to try this right here, right now? Even if she was wrong, she was still right. And she could _prove_ it. Emmett and Alice both glanced at Edward, giving him pleading and insistent looks, respectively, as they waited for a response. He shook his head slightly, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

"I'm staying out of this one."

"Rose! Make her stoooop!" Emmett quickly turned to Rosalie and gave her the most pathetic look her could possibly muster. If his pout wasn't will shattering, his whine was. He was so like a child, and she loved children so very much, and he looked _so_ pathetic.

"No, Alice," Rosalie sighed, glancing at her nails as she spoke. "Don't do that. Bad girl."

"Wow, Rose. You are _really_ sellin' it; perfect, just perfect," Rosalie made a face at Alice; Alice pulled one back, and Emmett sat there pouting and crossing his arms childishly while his sisters continued to engage in a face-making contest around his broad chest.

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" Edward smiled softly as her leaned his chin into one palm, glancing at Emmett as he spoke. "Like snow on Christmas; it never gets old, watching them." Alice and Rosalie suddenly turned disgusted looks on Edward. He lifted his head from his hand and offered a wide smile. "Well, don't bother looking at _me_ like that! If you were to act _civil_ and _normal_, perhaps I wouldn't get such a kick out of laughing at your expense."

"No one ever got anywhere or anything done by acting 'civil' and 'normal'," Alice air quoted, scowling at him. Jeez, with how old he always reminded them he was, one would think that he would know all of this already.

"I think he just insulted me!" Rosalie turned to Emmett, whispering and casting scandalized glances in Edward's direction. Edward only laughed. "He _totally_ just insulted me!"

"Oh look, there's Jasper!" Edward cried suddenly, pointed over Rosalie's shoulder. She turned around quickly, searching for him.

"What! Where?" Her eyes flicked from one face to the next, while Edward bit his lip and tried to hold in a bout of laughter. "Edward?" She turns back to him, looking curious - and slightly concerned - when she catches him making the oddest expression her way. _Troll face_; she'd never known it was real. Seriously, so many girls thought that crooked grin was cute; too many didn't realize he was actually just making a funny face at them, just because he could get away with it and, being extremely beautiful, they wouldn't even _notice._

"I was just screwing with you!"

"You little-"

"Hey look, Jazzy!" Alice cheered as she turned around, blinking owlishly upon noticing her brother's accomplice. "Who's that?"

"Oh no! I'm not falling for that shit again! You can make all the dumb blonde jokes you want, I'm not falling for it!" Rosalie closed her eyes, tilting her head up as she crossed her arms. She absolutely _refused_ to allow them to play this joke on her. Alice just rolled her eyes, reaching down and pinching Rosalie's bottom, _hard._ The blonde yelped, jumping slightly in her chair, turning to glare heatedly and make a swipe for her, before she noticed Jasper walking up with a woman on his arm. Upon closer inspection, it looked more like the woman was the one with Jasper on her arm, leading him into the cafeteria, smirking and smiling and laughing with him like they were the oldest of friends. "Holy..."

"Mmm," Alice allowed her eyes to trail over the lithe figure leading Jasper around. "Damn right." Now it was Edward who turned a disgusted, horrified look on Alice, as the thoughts running through her head blared in his skull.

"_Mary Alice Brandon_," he gasped.

"I challenge that _literally_ every other girl here is thinking the same thing," Alice argued out of the side of her mouth as the girl approached with Jasper.

"That is... beside the point..." Edward frowned, but by Alice's triumphant smile it was very clear who'd won.

"Howdy," the girl greeted with a grin as she stopped in front of the table, turning and patting Jasper's arm before he withdrew from her. "And here you are sir; delivered safe and sound!" She bowed, winking up at him.

"Thanks soldier," He chuckled as she straightened up, cocking one hip and allowing her head to loll on her neck as she eyed his family speculatively. He noticed the stare and smiled, gesturing towards them. "This here would be my siblings; Rosalie, my twin; Edward, my chess partner; Alice, my little sister; and Emmett, my video game partner." She said nothing for a while, more content to study them than anything else. "So, what do you think?"

"... Honest opinion?" She glanced at Jasper, one brow raised.

"If you please." He nodded and smiled encouragingly. She sighed and shrugged.

"You asked, just remember that. You," She straightened up slightly, snapping to attention as she planted her hands on her hips and jerked her chin at Alice. "You're short. You're gay-" Her eyes met Edward's and he scowled.

"Hey!"

"You're fat," Now she was looking at Emmett as she spoke.

"It's muscle!" he whined.

"You're a plastic bitch." Rosalie gasped, as if horrified, but she was smiling behind the hand she held to her mouth. _Interesting..._ "And you, sir, are a proper southern gent; happy?" She smiled at Jasper, who looked like he should be a pretty purple right about then - he wasn't though, just a pale, pale white, and trying to choke his laughter down. But after all the looks he got from his siblings, he finally broke down and began to actually _giggle. _"I take that as a yes. So, about that lunch you're buying me..."


	4. Unfailing Humor

***grumbles* I still can't believe this is popular though. I just don't understand **_**how!**_** *sighs* Whatever, my fiction press shit is coming along quite nicely, so I'm glad I've ignored this for a couple of days. SHIT! Shit, shit, shit! Must... resist... urge... to... write... new... story... Ugh, my heart, it pains me! *faints***

* * *

"I thought-" _CRUNCH, Crnch, crnch._ "I was-" _CRUNCH, Crnch, crnch._ "Taking you out-" _CRUNCH, Crnch, crnch._ "To lunch?" Jasper asked, leaning back into the smoke-scented passenger seat of Isabella's car. His lips were quirked up in amusement as he watched the brunette chow down on her second bowl of Cap'n Crunch without milk. Sniffing the air, he could also smell the rather very _heavy_ scent of sex, blood, alcohol, and sweat that permeated the car. Most of it was old - though the alcohol and sex seemed _strangely_ fresh, as if she'd gone on a drinking-fucking binge just earlier - so it didn't really bother him (that is to say, the blood didn't), but it _was_ amusing just to sit in it, knowing that his clothes would absolutely reek of the girl later, and of her car. His sisters would flip shit, and the thought of it was hilarious.

"Yeah, you were gonna," Isabella told him around a mouthful of food. She had a hand to her mouth, so she could speak without spewing food on him, or flashing him a bit of _see _-food. Sure, she didn't have the etiquette to not speak when her mouth was full, but she was at least cordial enough to not show off a mouthful. That was rude. And she wasn't rude, not really... just an incorrigible bitch. "But then I remembered my stash of the Cap'n... and cereal is my shit."

"My father's a doctor; he could probably help you with a problem like that." Jasper told her matter-of-factly. She flashed him a disgusted sneer, after swallowing her mouthful, and poured the rest of her bowl back into the still open box on the middle console between her seat and his.

"Thanks for ruining my lunch, asshole. You know _exactly_ what I meant," she growled back, slapping his shoulder roughly - _OW. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, FUCK that hurt!_ - while he laughed at her. "Fucker." She grumbled, flexing her fingers to make sure she hadn't broken anything - _fingering' fingers not broken, sweet_ - before she closed up the box of cereal and tossed it into the back seat, grabbing her bag and reaching inside, fumbling around with a frustrated look on her face for a few moments before she grinned brightly and withdrew her pack of cigarettes. "Thankfully, I _do_ have some dessert." He had to slap a hand over his mouth to muffle his almost obnoxious laughter. He didn't usually laugh like this unless Emmett had done something _especially_ Emmett-like. That is to say, act like a childish fool.

As it were, he was just so entertained by the strange human, he couldn't help laughing. Here she was, looking like some Goddess of Sex, acting like some badass, and holding up a pack of cigarettes and swooning girlishly for them. Her grin was so content, so child-like, and seemed so _very_ out of place that his laughing at her was simply a must. Before he knew it, that child-like smile was turned towards him, and as he watched, it turned almost _shy_, and he was even feeling the _shy_ radiating from her... except it was very strange. It was real, but... somehow, it seemed wrong on her, not as though she couldn't be shy... just that it somehow was the wrong emotion. _She was PLAYING him!_ He realized it suddenly, and began to laugh once again, which pulled her shy smile down into a frown.

"I don't smoke," he told her once he had calmed down, grinning at her oddly. She blinked a few times, before rolling her eyes, all shyness wiped from her, as if it hadn't ever existed. And it hadn't, not really.

"Well I wasn't going to offer you one anyway." _Lie._ He chuckled and she glared at him from the corner of her eyes as she pulled a cigarette out, stuck it between her lips, and lit it in one fluid motion. And if he'd seen correctly, she'd even spun the lighter around a few fingers too, before just barely letting the flame flicker to life and inhaling as soon as it did. Was she showing off, or did she just do that all the time? "So, you played 20 Q's with me earlier, right?"

"Yeah, you weren't imagining that," Jasper assured her with a laugh; she shot a fierce glare his way, inhaling slowly and blowing the smoke out through her nose as she pulled the cigarette away, pulling the ashtray open to ash her cigarette before she brought it right back to her lips.

"It's crazy to me how much you keep trying to get me to smack you; but hey, I've fucked masochists, I understand your sick kick," She was smiling now as she shrugged it off, patting his shoulder. "So it's okay, I accept you. That being said, it's MY turn to ask questions."

"Oh really?"

"Nah, I was lying- _yes_ really," she snapped back at him. It wasn't her fault she hated 'really?' because it was a stupid question. It was a stupid _ass _question! No, everything she'd just said was actually a lie, OF COURSE 'REALLY'! Though, to be fair, she lied constantly and easily, so... she couldn't _quite_ blame him... although, he didn't actually know her that well, so she was actually in her right to blame him. In fact, fuck him.

"Are you going to stop glaring at me any time soon?"

"Hey, hey... Hey. Who's asking the questions here?" She gave him an expectant look, and he had to fight the urge to grin at her, just barely managing as he nodded his head towards her.

"You are-"

"Very correct, I am. So, who's gonna sit there like a good little southern gent and wait until it's his turn to ask anything before I smack him?" He didn't bother holding back the grin now, even chuckling at the hardly veiled threat.

"I suppose that would be me."

"You supposed right! Very good, Jasper!" She reached over and pat his golden head, picturing him with a furry face, long muzzle, and big brown eyes. Yep, he'd make a great golden retriever. She could put a collar on him, let him sleep on a fluffy dog bed in the corner of her room, teach him tricks. He could growl at unnecessary male strangers that would come up to her and try to woo her, as if they were blind to the very masculine aura she knew she emitted, and the fact that she looked at every woman like she wanted to eat them. She did, actually. "So, let's get to the questioning..."

"If it's anythin-"

"Ah, ah! No, no, _no_, young sir! You do not speak until I ask a question! Don't make me pull out the vacuum cleaner!" Isabella threatened, still seeing him with fluffy ears and big brown eyes, a tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. _Such a good dog._

"Wait, what?"

"Not important, I'm asking questions, so shhh!" she chided him, giving him a playfully stern expression. He could feel the humor pouring from her, and couldn't help grinning in return. When he didn't say anything, she couldn't resist reaching over and patting his golden head - _his hair was just as fluffy-soft as Dave's had been! _(Dave had been her favorite gay friend's Golden) - while smiling brightly. "Such a _good_ boy! Alright, so first question... are your sisters single?"

"Well, Rose and Em have had an on-again, off-again relationship for years, and Alice and I have always sort of flirted and experimented with one another..." Jasper trailed off, eyes glazing over as a few experiences he'd shared with Alice came to mind. He loved Alice, she was his sister, so of course he loved her, and she loved him the same. They had always sort of just stuck with one another, since the beginning. They'd met first, and she'd managed to rope him into this life, pull him along after her - he had never minded being behind; the view was wonderful - and he had always happily complied with her wishes. Meaning, he'd never been the one making advances; Alice would simply feel curious, come to him, and start _something_ that only she knew how it would end. She'd seemed satisfied with it, and he was satisfied with her satisfaction; besides that though, he couldn't find a _single_ reason to complain.

"Cool, so they're single," Her grin was absolutely brilliant, and he had to chuckle at it. Here she was, putting a cigarette to her lips and sucking on it, while smiling childishly like Emmett did, and trying to figure how she could get into his sister's respective pants, even though he'd basically told her that they weren't _really_ that free for dating. The girl heard what she wanted to, apparently. _Maybe a simple 'no' would have sufficed..._ "Alright, now that that's squared away, I'm curious, how'd you get the scars there, big man? Should I pull out my switchblade and cut a bitch, because I will; just say the word and I will have them jumped." Jasper wanted to laugh, but the original question shocked him into an awkward, halting chuckle that was sort-of forced. It was obvious in the way that Isabella was frowning, pursing her lips as her eyes narrowed.

"You look like a duck like that!" he blurted without thinking, his mind latching on to the first thing that wasn't related to the question she'd asked him. _She'd noticed, HOW had she noticed!_

"I am the sexiest duck you've ever seen, too!" Isabella smiled to let him know that she wasn't offended. "And don't worry; you look like a Golden Retriever."

"Why thank- hey wait a minute!" Isabella tossed her head back, laughing as she pulled the cigarette away, her laughs coming out in puffs of smoke. Jasper scowled playfully at her, reaching over and _lightly_ punching her shoulder. "That's not funny."

"I wasn't kidding," she told him, matter-of-factly. He crossed his arms and pouted while she continued to laugh, before she had to reach over and pat his head, cooing patronizingly. "Poor baby boy, want Momma to make it better, huh? You wanna treat, huh boy? You wanna eat a tweat? Who wants a tweat? You do!"

"I'm not a dog!" Jasper finally whined, laughing as he swatted her hands away. She grinned as she puffed on the cigarette, blowing it in his face.

"Quite the contrary, you'd make a handsome woman. I've got a dress in the back, wanna try it on?" He had to concentrate hard on her, because she seemed to be trying to mask her emotions. He soon found, though, that she was completely serious, and was telling the truth, and was getting turned on by the thought of him as a woman.

"No thank you," He shuddered, made a disgusted face, and shook his head. _Uggh, just... no._ Now she pouted, letting out a soft 'boo' in a short puff of smoke, before she shrugged her shoulders and smiled slightly at him.

"Worth a shot," she murmured, leaning back in her seat, staring unseeingly out of the windshield. Jasper followed her example and relaxed back, mulling over the fact that she had known. How she had noticed, he couldn't even begin to guess, but he would certainly keep an eye out for anything suspicious about her. She seemed normal enough, if a bit too relaxed around her natural predator, so he wasn't too concerned. "So, are they virgins?"

"Huh?" Jasper blinked slowly, glancing at her. She wasn't looking at him, wasn't grinning, and he could tell that she didn't even feel anything. It was almost as if the thought had occurred and she spoke without considering it, or even paying attention to what she was saying.

"Your sisters, are they virgins? Because I kinda wanna fuck the shit out of them," She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, and though the corner of her lips was quirked up slightly, she wasn't kidding.

"I, well... I mean, no, but... I doubt they'd just bend over-" He was interrupted now by her breaking out into a loud bout of laughter, and he could feel the humor wash over him extremely strongly.

"My friend, I do believe we must've never met before!" She held out a hand to him, and he stared at it for a few moments before glancing back up at her one brow quirked up as he finally clasped the hand in one of his own and shook. "My name's Isabella Swan, you can call me Lothario when we're alone, though."

"Lothario? And what exactly does that mean?" He wasn't sure why he felt compelled to ask, he just knew that he did. His immediate answer was a very wide, roguish grin.

"It means I'll be fucking your sisters before the end of the month."

* * *

"I think..." Alice began slowly, once the girl Jasper had come in with had succeeded in dragging the man out again. Jasper had laughed in all of their faces after her quick, precise dressing down of every one of them (except for Jasper, because he apparently had special privileges the rest of them could never obtain), and then introduced the young woman as Isabella Swan, new kid and resident badass. Those were actually his literal words, and they had to wonder if he was going off of his own thoughts, or if Isabella had prompted him to tell them that.

"Hmmm?" Rosalie was shamelessly staring at Isabella's ass as she walked away, craning her head and almost falling out of her seat when the girl started to get farther and farther away. Hot _DAMN_, that was some flesh to sink her teeth into - and her heels, she'd love to sink them into that lower back, and those _shoulders_, shit...

"I want..." Alice was focused on the girl just as much as Rosalie was, speaking the words slowly, as they popped up in her head.

"Yeah?" Rosalie sighed as Isabella disappeared from view, and turned to glance at Alice, while also attempting to ignore Emmett. He was now whining to Edward about Isabella, while Edward was trying to calm him down and reassure him that he was not fat, and that it was indeed muscle, and the girl was just being exceedingly mean to him, because he was an easy target.

"I'm not easy! I'm tough!" Emmett pounded a fist against his chest, distracting Alice for a moment, her train of thought derailing as she smiled up at him. She promptly leaned over and hit him in the tummy, and his air rushed out in a _whoosh_ while he curled slightly in on himself, wincing while holding his stomach.

"Tougher 'an nails," Rosalie giggled, nodding along, holding one hand up behind her back for a high five, so he wouldn't see and start pouting even more.

"That was mean! Edward, they keep picking on me, make them stooop!" Edward only shook his head and chuckled.

"You _are_ making it exceedingly easy, you know?" Edward told him, smiling while Emmett whined, tears shining in his eyes as he gave him a childish pout, as if that might change his opinion. He was still holding his aching stomach though, and from his thoughts, Edward knew that he was still sort-of worried about the fact that he might be fat. "Like now, for instance."

"Yeah Em, you're easy. Kind of like a whore," Alice told him, nodding sagely as she turned back to her notebook and began to draw some more. Now the thick stick figure was lying on the ground, with X's for eyes, while a new figure stood over him, tossing its head back and laughing. It held a cigarette in one hand, which was lightly smoking and had a red tip (obviously, the lit end). "Except you don't get paid."

"I'm not a whore! You're the one that wants to have the new girl's babies!" He pointed accusingly at the Alice stick figure, that now had an extended belly. She had labeled 'future hotness' over the bump, but she only rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't make me a whore-"

"That makes her horny," Rosalie clarified, winking at her sister. "Don't worry, me too."

"What! Bu-but _Rooooose_-"

"Did you see her ass?" Rosalie countered, turning a short glare on her brother.

"Well, I-"

"Did you?"

"I mean-"

"DID YOU?"

"Alright, alright, yes!" Emmett finally gave up, shrinking nervously under the heated glare of one Rosalie Lillian Hale. Her glares were famously hot; hotter than the Earth's core, sort of glares; melt your face off with anger, sort of glare; maybe looks couldn't kill, but this sure did get damn close.

"Exactly." Rosalie turned back turned away, after flipping her hair over her shoulder. She was smirking triumphantly, and Alice was smiling as well.

"I do believe," Alice began, clearing her throat after a moment, casting a glance in Rosalie's direction. "The phrase you are looking for is, 'Dat ass'." They fist-bumped and Rosalie nodded seriously.

"Indeed."

* * *

**Must... continue... resisting... new story... urges... IT HURTS! I've just... the ideas, man, they got my kids! :"( **

**Speaking of kids... I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT! XDDDDD And also, because I'm feeling like extremely pleased, I'll go ahead and say the other half of my good news... I'M FINALLY GETTING MY REDUCTION! YESSSS! **

**Mrs. Cope is only in her 40's! I've got this magic ability to look at someone and tell that they **_**will**_** be absolutely gorgeous (if they are a child), or that they **_**were **_**absolutely gorgeous (if they of the older variety). And besides that, there really isn't a set age for beauty; I'm quite taken with a woman in her 50's, and she is absolutely stunning. Anyway, umm... do whatever the fuck you want, but don't flame. **


	5. Shameless Compliments

**Oh man. Blueberries are so good. Oh hey, I went parasailing! ^^ It was cool. Red necks are hard to deal with, but they make me feel so good about myself. And if I ever see a guy wearing a "CHOKING HAZARD" shirt, I will gladly punch him in the face. I'm vulgar and perverted, but really? That's just fucking stupid. So yeah, from previous statements, it's clear to see that I had a very good time at the beach!... and now I have to work the weekend away TT_TT **

**This chapter is short, just so I can get some idea I had out - the thought that friend before lover is really the best way to operate. Some chapters will be just that short. Forgive mistakes, please!**

* * *

"Isabella!" She was sitting on the trunk of her car, a cigarette hanging from her lips, a coffee cup next to her hip, and the windows of her car rolled down so the music playing from the stereo was blasting back at her when Jasper saw her and called. She clenched the cigarette lightly between her teeth, and offered a grin and a small wave of greeting in return. As she watched, he turned to his siblings, spoke quickly, nodding in her direction as he did so, and then made his way over. She was rather amused to see the looks his sisters were giving him. It was a mix of hatred and jealousy, as well as some little tinge of melancholy that had her snickering. They could wait their turns, she had to work her way through at least a third of the female populous before she would be climbing the Cullen Hill and Mount Cullen (the short and tall one, respectively).

Saving the very best for last was simply a must.

"Howdy," She pulled the cigarette from her lips to blow the greeting on a cloud of smoke his way. He didn't wince or grimace, and she was mildly surprised by this, but only grinned at him. He returned the grin and nodded to her as he stopped next to her, on the side that was not taken up by the coffee cup, and lifted himself up on the car.

"You're looking chipper," Jasper noted, bumping his shoulder against hers as she leaned back on one hand, lifting her cigarette back to her lips with the other. She offered a simple glance, the corner of her lips turning up slightly, and only shrugged.

"Must be the vodka," He laughed, and she grinned, but she wasn't kidding. He realized that a few moments later when the humor he felt was directed at him. She found him amusing. She was laughing because he thought she was joking. What could she say? The cream shit in her coffee made it sweet _and_ gave her a little buzz. Maybe if she'd craved coffee less this morning, she'd be drunker now. But she'd _really_ just wanted some coffee. She'd slept late again, and she knew, despite how much she honestly would have enjoyed a good, solid drunken haze, that what she really needed was some coffee. That said, she _did_ need to get rid of her stash. Hence the nice splash of alcohol in her bitter, black coffee this morning. It _did_ make it sweeter, after all.

"You're joking right?" She took a long, slow drag, blowing out smoke rings when she turned towards him.

"Sure," Even her emotions imitated the statement. _Sure, whatever makes you feel better._

"You're terrible," he told her, trying for serious, but ending up laughing anyway when she pulled the cigarette from her lips, her mouth dropped open in an O of surprise, and she gasped.

"No! Really?" He elbowed her lightly in the side and she began to laugh. "That's exactly what Mrs. Ahple said!" Now Jasper left off the laughter to ponder the statement.

"Ahple?"

"Yeah, that unfortunately named woman? Who is our principal? Yeah, her." She tossed at him casually as she tapped the ash from the tip of her cigarette, grabbing her coffee and sipping on it delicately. It was still quite warm, and burned her tongue slightly, but she honestly wasn't sure whether the burn as it slid down her throat was due to the alcohol, or the temperature. She liked to think of it as a mix of the two; but mostly the temperature, because she didn't splash that much in here - no room for coffee then, and she needed her coffee or she would murder someone. Like one of the guys watching her reverently right now. She would be willing to act friendly, accept them with open arms (and CLOSED legs) into her social circle if only they would stop staring at her like she looked like the reincarnation of sex!... Oh wait, that was completely impossible. She giggled at the thought, not noticing how Jasper just gawked at her as his mind continued to go over the fact that she'd made a rather VERY odd insinuation.

"Are you saying... that Candice Ahple... our principal... met you already? What did you _do_ in your last class!" She was a bit of ne'er-do-well, but _certainly_ she hadn't gotten in so much trouble in her last class as to be sent to the principal's office - _on her FIRST day here!_

"Her, her secretary, and the school nurse; why? Wanna join in, because I'll be honest, it's only happening if you were a dress," All of this was, once again, delivered in that calm, cool, casual tone. As if she was speaking about the weather (which was dreary and dark, threatening to rain, like usual).

"Y-you... that's not even possible! You're lying, there's no way you had a... does that count as an orgy?" He seemed to be struggling, and she moved to say something, but he shook his head and held up a hand. "NO! Don't tell me, I don't want to know. There's no way. I mean... Mrs. Ahple is MARRIED!" Isabella giggled girlishly then, and grinned roguishly.

"I know, it's great!"

"How could you even _do _that?!" Jasper spluttered, after staring at her in wide-eyed shock for a few longs moments. She sighed, hopping off the trunk of her car so she could drop her cigarette and grind it out with the toe of her black Converse.

"It's easy! Straight women are way easier to tempt than gay women," She told him matter-of-factly as she grabbed her coffee and tossed it back, gulping it down and wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand.

"That... doesn't make sense..." Jasper muttered, mind still roiling as he tried to come to terms with the fact that she was _not_ lying. She had... she'd had an _orgy_ on her first day... with straight women...

"Course it does!" She laughed, patting his shoulder roughly, knowing that she wouldn't hurt him - he was a pretty solid guy. "See, gay women see me coming and they _expect_ it. Straight women won't immediately think that I'm trying to get in their pants until they are bare and wet and waiting for me."

"Ohmygod, please stop talking," Jasper groaned softly, his head cradled in his hands as he rubbed his temples. He did _not_ need to her more sexcapades right now! This was too much to handle already, and the images in his head were making Edward choke on his own spit right now.

"For instance, I can be the friend before I'm the lover, and they let their guard down! See, watch this..." He couldn't resist peeking through his fingers to watch Isabella work her magic as a girl passed by, holding a book to her chest with one arm as she shifted the strap of her bag across her shoulder with the other. Isabella casually walked towards her, tripping (on purpose) right before she reached the girl, effectively bumping her shoulder into the girl's shoulder. The girl - Molly, if Jasper remembered correctly (she was very nice, sorta quiet, but nice) - yelped sharply, losing her balance. But Isabella easily caught her and steadied her, laughing sheepishly as she did so. "I'm sooo sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going!"

"W-what?" Molly was dazed by the sudden appearance of the new girl - the very _attractive_ new girl - and couldn't help the stutter or the blush slowly crawling up her cheeks. "N-no, I should have been watch where _I_ was going!"

"Nonsense!" Isabella chuckled lowly, and the girl darkened slightly. "I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't mess up your shoes, because, oh my god, I love them." Now Molly's cheeks cooled slightly as she managed a small smile.

"Thank you, they're my favorite pair," Isabella stepped back, giving the girl some space to breathe as she gave the girl a quick once over, and offered an easy grin.

"I can see why. Girl, you are _workin'_ them!" Molly giggled, and reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen in front of her face. "I can't tell what looks better, the shoes, or you in them...? No, wait, definitely you."

"Thanks," Molly giggled once again, blushing slightly.

"I'm the new girl, Isabella Swan," Isabella held out a hand, and Molly took it with a shy smile, shaking it daintily.

"Molly Cress," Isabella stepped closer suddenly, the lifting the hand to her lips to blow a kiss over her knuckles.

"Wonderful to meet you," She winked up at the girl, biting back a smirk as she dropped the hand and Molly's blush darkened. "I hope this wouldn't be too forward of me but... I'm wondering if I could possibly ask you to show me around some time? I swear I'll make it worth your while, _especially_ if you can tell me where you got those _gorgeous_ kicks!"

"Worth my while...?" Molly twirled a lock of dark blonde hair around a finger, biting her lip as she looked up at Isabella. "In what way?"

"In every way! Dinner... and movie! No, wait, wait, wait. Better; shopping, dinner, AND a movie, my treat!"

"Just to show you around? I couldn't!" Molly shook her head, worrying her lip now. That was too much just for something so small! Isabella bent slightly, reaching for one of Molly's hands and clasping it between her own, looking up through her lashes at the shorter blonde.

"Oh please say you will! I know it's a bit much, but I'm extravagant like that; I can't help but treat my friends to-" She broke off with a gasp, heat flooding her cheeks as she dropped the hand and stepped back, looking down at her feet, toeing the asphalt shyly. "I... I mean to say... if you'll be my friend..."

"I... yes, yes of course!" Molly nodded dumbly, feeling her heart warm to see the girl looking so shy and sweet like that. Isabella looked up, and with pink still dusting her cheeks, offered a wide, happy grin.

"Wonderful! How about Saturday?"

"Sure," Molly smiled to see Isabella looking so genuinely happy, nodding again.

"Great, here," She fished in her back pocket, withdrawing her phone and handing it over with a more subdued, shy smile. "Put your number in?"

"Oh! Of course," Molly took it, and in the time she took to put in information in the phone, Isabella glanced over her shoulder, giving Jasper a very confidant smirk, one brow raised slightly as if to say 'Told you!' before she turned back to Molly and forced the slight heat back into her cheeks. "Here you are. Talk to you later?"

"Definitely," Isabella promised, leaning over with a small giggle to pull the girl into a one armed hug. One that Molly was too embarrassed to return, but that she really didn't mind being pulled in to. "See you around!" Isabella turned and walked away, tossing a grin and a wave over her shoulder. Once Molly was out of sight, still sort-of dazed, but happy nonetheless, Isabella finally allowed herself a throaty chuckle and turned back to Jasper. "Still feeling confused?"

"Honestly?"

"Please."

"I'm kind of amazed. A little awed. Are you even human?" Isabella tossed her head back and laughed, smiling widely when she did manage to calm down after a few moments.

"Barely, just barely."


	6. Tempting the Taken

**Please forgive mistakes. Because I wanted to get this out before I went to go see the woman I'm crushing on majorly tomorrow. Sad story is that I know I have less than no chance with her. *sighs* But I've got it so bad! :'( Damn it, if only red heads weren't so fucking cute!**

* * *

"Oh Charlie," Sue giggled, grinning up at the lightly blushing Chief of Police as he lead them towards his door. "You're so _naughty!_" His face turned a shade darker while she continued to giggle at his expense, fumbling in his pocket for his keys as they came to a stop. "Skipping work so you can keep lil' ol' me company? You should be arrested!"

"Is that a threat, missy? I don't wanna hafta pull out my cuffs now..." He finally managed to gather himself and remember what family he was a part of (the long, secretly thriving line of Lothario), and how he should act according to that family lineage. He didn't often like to step out of the more conservative boundaries he'd set for himself some years ago - the boundaries that kicked his libido in the balls, more often than not, because he didn't need stories getting out about him in a town this small - but for Sue Clearwater... there were a lot of things he would do... Usually her, though the ways in which he did, did vary; and she seemed to like it well enough. He swept her off her feet - quite literally - as he thrust the door open. She wrapped her arms around his neck, biting her lip and playing with the dark chocolate curls of hair at the base of his neck.

"You should get this cut soon..."

"I thought you liked it long?" He waggled his eyebrows at her and she once again erupted into giggles.

"You're so bad," She slapped his chest lightly while he shook with his own bout of laughter.

"Yeah, Charles, you are terrible," Charlie froze, before his arms went limp, effectively dropping Sue to the floor as he spun around and came face-to-face with Isabella, leaning in the doorway leading to the kitchen, spooning soup into her mouth.

"WH- ch- huh- y-you... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Charlie screeched after a few long seconds of staring at her in wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock, while she only raised one brow and continued to eat.

"Oh ya know... hunting elephants," She rolled her eyes at him as she said it, dropping the spoon in the bowl and lifting the bowl to her lips to tilt it back and gulp it all down in a few seconds. When she brought it back down, it was so she could wipe her mouth on the back of her hand. "Oh by the way, you're girlfriend's still on the floor."

"SUE!" Isabella snickered as she turned her back and headed into the kitchen, tossing her bowl in the sink and turning on the tap for a few seconds just to fill the bowl so the residue on the sides could gradually just sort of come off on its own without her having to help it along. She liked to think of it as conceding to her nature, which was more lazy than anything else today. Who knew, tomorrow she might set out to be president, and succeed. Romney didn't have shit on her. "Isabella!"

She'd already opened the fridge and ducked her head inside to glance around with a small frown when Charlie had managed to pick his girl up off the floor and apologize about a thousand or so times and then storm into the kitchen. She didn't quite see fit to answer him yet, and just contented herself with looking for more food.

"OoOoo! Honey dew, yum!" she cheered quietly as she pulled out a container, pulled the top off, and began popping pieces of the sweet fruit into her mouth. She spun on her heel, closing the fridge with her foot as she made her way over to the small table in the kitchen and pulled a chair out, gracelessly plopping down in it and continuing to pop pieces into her mouth, not bothering to wash her hands before doing so (which was mostly the reason for Charlie's perpetual eye twitch as he stalked into the room to loom over her) and not bothering to apologise to Charlie for skipping school to eat all of his food. When she didn't immediately respond, not even to his loud, obnoxious throat clearings, he finally sighed and threw up his hands in defeat. She paused in her eating just long enough to tilt her head back and offer a wide grin. "Good for you Charlie, now go rough up your lady friend, eh?"

A giggle drew Charlie's attention to the kitchen doorway, where Sue stood, leaning just like Isabella had moments ago, an amused smile on her face as she watched the young brunette.

"It's good advice, if only you hadn't ruined the mood," Sue sighed sorrowfully, swooning dramatically. Isabella paused in her munching to take a long look at Sue.

"I can fix that..." Sue only laughed and shook her head as she pushed off from the doorway, walking over to Isabella and Charlie. She pulled out a chair from the table and sat across from Isabella, smiling at the young girl as she held her head in her hands, while Charlie shifted nervously from one foot to the other behind them both. He knew how Isabella was, he couldn't quite help if he felt a little concerned that his girl friend might fall for her charms... just like most girl friends fell for Isabella's charms... just like most of the fairer sex fell for Isabella's charms. Sure, he liked to believe that Sue loved him and was faithful to him, but the odds _were_ against him. "And you don't even have to get naked. I'll just strip off my shirt and-"

"NO!" Charlie jumped forward, clamping one hand on her shoulder, glaring heatedly at her when she tipped her head back again to grin like she had before. "That's not necessary. Why aren't you in school?"

"So Sue, about you're daughter Leah..." Isabella quickly tipped her head forward and fixed the Native American with a strangely serious look.

"Don't just ignore me!"

"Oh Charlie, the girl's harmless!" Sue rolled her eyes, her look turning severe when she glanced up at the man attempting to restrain his young charge. He flinched, staring intently at his feet as his cheeks flushed with chagrin. He wasn't forgiven yet... so maybe it was best for him to just... stay quiet... just for now. He knew how to make up for it. A Lothario always knew how to make up for it.

"Yeah Charlie, I'm harmless!" But then when _the_ Lothario opened her mouth, those thoughts went flying from his mind and he could only think about how much it was _her_ fault that all this had even happened in the first place!

"_Harmless as a heart attack..._" Charlie grumbled under his breath. "Ah, Isabella, you know I think Leah is alone right now!" He could practically see her ears pricking up when he spoke, and when her head tilted back, yet again, it was with one brow cocked and her lips quirking up in a grin.

"Oh?"

"Yes... she is..." Sue trailed off, eyes narrowing on the two. They were staring intently at one another, as if some secret mental message was being shared between them.

"Oh gee, it's been years since I've seen her!" Isabella spoke suddenly as her head snapped forward and she stood from her chair, grabbing the back of it just before it could tip over and spinning her body around it to push it back into place. "And you know, I can't stand the thought of her being so alone!" She spoke in an almost-lilt that Sue found strangely familiar. Sometimes Charlie would do the same thing, when he was going for dramatics; though Isabella's was leaning more towards a normal tone than Charlie could ever quite grasp. Despite that, her eyes narrowed further in suspicion.

"You can't? I hadn't known you two were good friends..."

"OH, but we never had the chance to be! Don't you see it, Sue? Now that I'm back for good this is my chance! And you're sure she's alone, Charles? So that I'll have my chance to monopolize her attention?" Now, the lilt had disappeared completely, and Sue was finding it harder to find fault with Isabella's logic. She... seemed genuine enough about it... Maybe she really was looking for a friend. After all, the girl was sweet, and she would be lonely, having just left all of her old friends.

"Well, I know she's alone; her fiancé isn't in right now and Seth is at school, where _you_ should be," Sue smiled when Isabella turned to wink at her.

"But we won't hold it against me if I skip, hmm?" She turned the look on Charlie now, and they had that same intense 'sharing inner thoughts' glare between them before Charlie smiled and stepped forward, clapping her on the shoulder.

"Not at all, not at all! Everyone needs to bend the rules now and then; it's healthy!" Charlie laughed as he lightly gripped her elbow and began leading her towards the door. "_And you know what else is healthy? Fucking off for the next three hours!_" He growled in her ear as he opened the door and roughly pushed her out.

"Ohhh, watch the language there, Nephew," Isabella laughed, right before he glared at her, flipped her off, and then proceeded to slam the door in her face. She smiled to herself, whistling as she turned and shoved her hands in her pockets and strolled towards Chester. She withdrew her keys from her pocket, spinning them around her finger as she made her way towards the car, making plans. When she finally reached her car and pulled the door open, she was smiling widely. It was good the boy had someone to screw. She was beginning to get worried that he was an uptight little fuck that had little to _no_ relation to her or her father. But now she could put that to rest; after all, he'd just willingly set her up to fuck his girlfriend's daughter.

He was... still such a good boy. She remembered the last time she'd been alive, he was still just a child - a cute, chubby one too - and she used to bounce him on her knee. Tell him stories. She remembered the last time his mother, Marie, had caught her telling him dirty, dirty sex stories. He'd been eight, and hadn't really understood anything she was saying; so of course Marie had flipped on her, yelled and all that jazz. Isabella, or Mae - that had been her name then - had tried to convince her it was all okay... by screwing, of course... But it hadn't worked. Marie had been _quite_ the looker... and damn faithful to her husband. Even for Mae's skills. Pity, really. This made up for it, though.

* * *

"Yeah, I know I've been gone a while, but I swear I'll be back soon, Baby," Leah nodded with a huge smile, though her fiancé, Sam Uley, couldn't really see it. She was just so excited to hear his voice! She hadn't seen him in... god, she'd be willing to venture a guess following after Shakespeare, forever and a day. He'd just up and left one day last month, and hadn't called or texted or anything and she'd gotten so worried and freaked that she'd actually broken down and cried... for like thirty seconds. That was thirty seconds too long in her book. She was Leah Clearwater, stronger than Superman, and she'd _cried._ It was... gross.

"That's great, when can I expect you?" She totally wasn't going to surprise him with a romantic candle lit dinner followed by awesome sex that lasted all night. Not at all... Her answer, however, was a chuckle, which really put a dent in her _not_ plans to seduce him into never leaving her again. The next day, she totally didn't plan on ripping him five new assholes for leaving with no warning and no calls/texts/letters/anything. None of that was part of... any plans she was making. Not at all... If only he could answer her straightforward, like she knew he wouldn't.

"Soon," She pouted into the phone, wishing he could see it and break under the look like he almost always did.

"Boo, you're no fun!" she complained, only to answer by another laugh. She couldn't help breaking into a grin at the sound. _God_, but she'd missed his laugh, and his smile, warmth, fucking gorgeous muscles. She missed his smell... and she missed the sex. She was one of the biggest lady horn dog's ever to walk the earth, so she believed. "Love you."

"Love you," And then he hung up, and she sighed to herself as she leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes and smiling as she hugged the phone to her chest. She pushed off from the wall in the next second, smiling über wide, humming a song she had stuck in her head and _dancing_ around her house. She wasn't much of a dancer, but when she was by herself, she believed that she put everyone to shame. She knew she didn't, she'd accepted a long time ago that she looked sort-of like she was having a seizure whenever she danced around, but in her mind she was graceful as a damn swan!

"Fuck bitches, I'm an amazing dancer!" She told herself as she swayed in the middle of the hall, grinning widely and shaking her ass. She also happened to curse quite a lot when she was alone. And sing. And skip, and giggle and talk to herself. She was actually a very strange person when she was by herself, just because she could be. When no one was there to entertain her, she wasn't hurting for someone _to_ be there.

_Knock._

_Knock._

Not that she terribly minded when someone showed up. Like, possibly, her beau. She danced her way through the house, towards the front door, giggling giddily as she stopped in front of it. She reached up to smooth out the gray tank top she wore, pulling at the short, denim shorts she was wearing. Sure, it was her beau surprising her with his presence _this_ soon, but she wanted to be at least sort of presentable. Next she smoothed down her hair, running her hands through it a few times to get it just perfectly tousled - he always told her he loved her hair looking all sexy and tousled - before she smiled to herself, attempted to make it a sexy 'let's do it' smirk, and pulled the door open.

"Well hello ther-" She broke off suddenly upon realizing that this was _not_ her beau... and she was actually sort of glad for that. Holy _shit_; who the fuck was the this girl?!

"Well, hello to you _too_," The girl's smirk easily did what Leah had attempted, and Leah felt pretty confidant that her 'sexy' smirk had looked like absolute shit compared to the one aimed at her right now. "You must be Leah Clearwater, hmm?"

"I-I-I..." She... sex... girl... door... smirk... Sam who?

"I'm Isabella, it's wonderful to meet you. Your mother sent me over to keep you company..." Her mother must think she was a whore that would open her legs for anyone if she sent this fucking sex goddess over here to 'keep her company', because there was absolutely no way that she was going to just let this girl in and- "But you look a little confused on the concept." -they would be all like 'best friends!' and shit. Nah, that shit wasn't even _about_ to fly! "So let me explain it for you..." Because she was sort of just freaking out and staring at this chick who now was gently pushing her back into the house and closing the door after them as she followed inside. "We're about to have sex." And she'd totally just said...

Say _what_ now! OH, HEEEELL NO! She did NOT just even say that to her!

"Okay." Oh... Ummm... she'd just agreed to that, hadn't she?

"Good. Glad to see you're getting it now!" WHAT? Uh-UHH, she was not about to - okay, so she was making out with a stranger right now. No big deal, she could just stop and - OKAY, so she was being pushed against the wall by this stranger and was moaning into a very hot mouth right now. No big deal! She would just think about Sam... Sammm... Mmmm... MMmmm, fuck, this girl knew how to _use_ her fucking tongue! Seriously, this chick could rule the world with a tongue like that. Hands and fingers that could turn the tides of war - as far as Leah was concerned, at least - were slipping under Leah's tank top, pushing it up farther and farther, and Leah only realized what was happening when she pulled back for air and the tank top was removed from her person in the same instant.

Lips clashed once again, and she forgot all about that, and the fact that she had just sort of rolled out of bed and tossed some clothes on, without bothering with the constrictions of a bra today. But it was brought back to her attention quite suddenly when warm hands covered her bare breasts and began to knead them, almost roughly. What's-his-face - that guy she was... doing whatever with - hadn't been here in a month or so, and she had been fucking _deprived_, so her knees practically buckled at the touch. _Fuck_, what her own hands could never quite accomplish! Her lips disengaged from the ones currently dominating the bruising kiss she was sharing with this stranger as her head fell back.

Her lips parted in a wonton moan as that tongue, those lips, that fucking _mouth_ moved down her jaw, the column of her throat; licking, nipping, sucking. _Fuck!_ What she wouldn't give for that hot mouth to move a little further south. Her knees finally _did_ buckle at just the _thought_ of it, but she hands pressed insistently against her breasts had moved, gripping her hips, holding her up. And then they'd moved around to the backs of her thighs, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around the woman's waist, beginning a slow grind, seeking friction for the unbearable heat building up inside her.

"Bed?" The woman was hardly breathing hard as she drew back, which compared to how Leah was panting and hardly able to catch her breath, was almost insulting. Except for the dark swirl of lust in those delicious chocolate brown eyes, that made up for it. "Leah?"

"Hmm?" Leah was trying to engage the woman in another session of passionate kissing, but she kept drawing back, and it was honestly beginning to get a bit annoying.

"Bed?" The question broke through the fog of lust that had overcome Leah so quickly she hadn't been able to react except to the stimulation the woman provided.

"Oh!" She blinked, before smiling almost shyly at the woman - _Isabella_, the name occurred to her quickly, dragged up from the dregs of her short-term memory - and nodding towards the stairs. Isabella smirked, adjusted her grip on Leah, shifting her hands to grip Leah's ass. Leah groaned, her head falling against Isabella's shoulder as they ascended the stairs. Before she knew it, the door to her room had been kicked open, and she'd been tossed on the bed. She watched, not resisting the urge to lick her lips as Isabella slid out of a black leather jacket and began to removed the tight white t-shirt she wore underneath. She kicked her shoes off, flicked open the button to her dark blue jeans, and offered a smirk as she stepped closer to Leah.

"Take it off," It wasn't so much a question as a very persuasive suggestion, when Isabella gestured towards her jeans. Leah eagerly sat up, moving closer to the woman and tugging them down and - _god, yes._ Isabella wore no underwear. When Isabella had kicked her jeans off, she smiled and leaned down over Leah, who was shamelessly licking her lips and staring, and began to tug at the denim shorts Leah wore. "Lift your hips." When Leah complied with the demand, Isabella quickly pulled the shorts off, hooking her fingers in the pair of lacy, pink and black panties underneath. She paused to toss a smirk up at Leah- "Cute." - before she pulled those off as well and sat back to study her prize.

"Like what you see?" Leah smiled shyly up at her as Isabella smirked back. She leaned over Leah, head dipping down to capture the native's lips in a kiss. Leah groaned, wrapping her arms around Isabella's neck and pulling her impossibly closer. When Isabella finally drew back, her smirk was still in place, wider than ever.

"Definitely."

* * *

**This may seem short, but that's only because it was going to be... three times longer than this. It was getting too fucking long for my tastes, so I deleted everything that came after this point... it was a lot. And I don't regret it, either. OH, oh, but guess whaaat! *waits impatiently* TOO LATE, I'm gonna tell ya anyway... I GOT A BREAST REDUCTION! WOOO! Fucking party time, you guys! XDDD**

**Next chapter: Drama, sex, and all that other shit y'all eat up like fuckin' candy.**


	7. Paying the Price

**Haven't updated in a minute or so. And twice in a row in ONE minute, I've managed to choke on ginger ale *glares at cup* Try me, bitch!... Sorry, my drink is acting up. **

**THOSE WHO NOTICED THE WORD I TOTALLY MADE UP FOR MY PURPOSES TODAY… you get cookies AND milk. Only milk for those who try... and this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY TO REVIEW! *cough cough, wink wink* Ahhh, nah, but seriously T_T Forgive my mistakes ^^**

* * *

"Wake the FUCK up!" She jolted awake not so much for the furious exclamation as for the burning hot coffee that was tossed in her crotch.

"FUCKING WHORE!" She bellowed as she shot up in the air, howling further in pain. "God DAMN IT, Charlie!" Her head whipped up in a vicious glare, lips pulling back in something akin to a snarl. Before she could properly rip into her young nephew, however, he'd thrown the coffee cup at her head; it shattered, and there _was_ blood, and he knew he should feel bad... but he just didn't. At all. "You insolent _CHILD!_" She spat now as she threw the stained, wet blanket from her nude body, standing in a flash and - though she was _shorter_ than Charlie - somehow managing to loom over him. But he met the challenge of her stare, puffing up his chest and tilting his chin up, icy gaze melting into the burning rage of her glare.

"Child," Charlie snorted, sneering at her. "_You_ are a child. Selfish little _SHIT_; what the hell is your problem, huh?" _Oh gawd._ That tone. She knew... she knew _that_ tone very well. She'd offended someone by doing something or someone and she was about to be made out a monster and blah, blah, blah, blah - yeah, okay, whatever. Same old song and dance; she _got_ it. She sighed softly as she relaxed, turning her back to Charlie and running a hand through her hair as she glanced at the clock.

"Holy shit, Charlie; do you _know_ what time it is?" She glanced at him, a disapproving frown marring her features. How _dare_ he interrupt her precious, precious sleeping time. When it was bed time for sleepy Izzy's, she was not to be disturbed, and yet here Charlie was... disturbing her... at her private residence outside of Forks. _What an ass-hat._

"Don't change the subject Isabella!"

"No, actually, shut the fuck up Charlie. No, shh-shh-shhhh!SHHH. Hush, hush now. Shut. Up. Don't make me break your jaw. Because I am telling you my problem. It's six in the morning, I went to sleep _four_ minutes ago, and I'm very tired and _very_ melancholy. And you are here. You are _HERE_ right now. When I should be sleeping. So that I don't murder someone. Logically speaking, I should continue sleeping, because I can tell you for a _fact_ that I know what you're going to say and I just don't care. So you waking me up... are you _really_ sure you want to do this right now Charlie?"

"Yes I _do_. This has gone on long enough! Damn pervert; you've got no morals, you're an absolute_ ass_, and _that_ I can actually handle. But you've gone too far now - breaking up a _marriage_, Isabella! Have you _NO_ shame!?"

"Oh wow... and literally, I just said that I _don't care._ Isn't it weird? Gosh, but isn't that _so_ funny? Yeah, wow, hmmm, learn somethin' new every day, huh? Alright, now get the fuck out before I ruin the rest of your miserable life."

"Do you not have a heart? Is that it? You're just heartless!"

"Oh my shit; did you miss the fucking memo?! I don't care! Go away now!"

"THIS DISCUSSION IS NOT OV-"

"GO AWAAAAAAY!" Isabella finally slapped her hands over her ears, singing nonsense and talking loudly, her eyes squeezed shut. "FUCK OFF, GO AWAAAAAAAAY!" She was not going to listen to this. It was too early, and she was too irritable, and he was trying to start a fight, and if that happened she'd be out for blood. And then she would end up killing him. That was an inconvenient ending for her current situation, given that she'd grown some odd sort of fondness for the young lad. Had anyone else disturbed her she would have assaulted them. But because it was Charlie, it was-

_**SLAP!**_

...

...

...

Isabella blinked slowly, her mind coming back to focus on the present that she had somehow slipped out of. Her head was twisted to the side, and her cheek throbbed something awful. It would bruise, she could feel it. And underneath the heat of the sting in her cheeks, she could feel her skin flushing. Her heart was beating madly, her breaths were becoming quite shallow and quick, and it was with no surprise when she came to a simple conclusion: _He had just SLAPPED her._ And with that realization, a shock of emotion - _pure rage_; that little disobedient child had slapped her! She'd allowed that to happen, and he had actually injured her. The rage overtook her before she could even get any further than noticing the taste of blood quickly filling her mouth. And then she had him by his throat, slammed up against a wall. He coughed, and she could smell the blood before she saw it.

She couldn't tell if it was bad that she felt really... _happy_, knowing that she'd hurt him quite badly, if blood was flecking his lips and his eyes were rolling back into his head.

"Nice acting, now wake up," She hissed at him, tossing him across the room. He twisted in the air, landing in a crouch and looking up at her.

"So now you'll engage me?" She snarled at him, colors swirling crazily in her eyes.

"What I'll do is allow you to continue living, but if you do not **get out**, I will be forced to escort you from the premises. This will be a painful procedure. You will have nightmares for weeks, if not years, and I will make sure you cry tears... of blood!"

"How could you do that to poor Leah?" UGH! Why couldn't Charlie take a _hint!_ She didn't want to talk to him about it! It wasn't like it was some guilty pleasure - she laughed in the face of the phrase 'guilty pleasure', her solemn belief that no pleasure was of the guilty kind was still strong as ever, given all the lifetimes come and gone - just that she knew he would be an accusatory ass about it, when really she hadn't done anything. In order for her to truly qualify for the title of 'Lothario' and the prestige that came with all that (not to mention the power and control), she had to be able to tempt the untemptable.

The taken.

The untouchables.

Wives and mothers. Girlfriends. Something about how forbidden it was, something about the challenge of it all was so satisfying to her. Perhaps it was the taste of Leah still lingering on her lips as her tongue flicked out. The best part of the whole exchange between them had to have been when they had been walked in on... by Leah's beau. Isabella chuckled to herself thinking about it; Leah probably hadn't realized it - Isabella certainly had! - but she'd reacted quite well to Sam's appearance. _She'd cum soooo hard!_

"Very easily. You wouldn't know anything about that though. Too young for lil' boys like you. An-" This time, she caught his hand by the wrist when the palm came whizzing towards her cheek. She looked up at him, and her brown eyes flashed an icy blue before she tightened her grip. She watched boredly as tears gathered in his eyes; it was equivalent to the increased volume of the creaking of his bones as she exerted force on him. "And as I was saying, I plan on next seducing her mother. Maybe her cousin after that."

"Soulless MONSTER!" Oh, how original.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," She released him, pushing him away roughly, he tripped over a boot in the floor and fell on his ass. Isabella calmly walked his way, stepping over him and going to her dresser. Her cigarettes were on top, and before Charlie knew it, she had one lit and the smoke was already starting to fill the air. "In these matters, all that is important is the satisfaction of my partner, and the spread of my influence. Bring back the belief, bring back the power. What I have to do to meet my goal is my business, and I will choose to feel how I wish to feel on it all. I have no shame, and I will not fight you." As she spoke, all in a very calm, soothing tone, she was moving back towards him. Now she stooped, taking hold of one arm and yanking him up harshly. "Now please," She started to tug him towards the door, smiling widely the whole while. "Get the fuck out."

She picked him up, without waiting for him to make the choice to get out himself, easily tossing him out into the hallway and slamming the door shut afterwards. She could hear the sound of him slam-banging around out there, though. He was trying to force the door open. Punches, kicks, slamming his body against the door... None of it was working, and she laughed openly at his attempts. And now maybe she could get some sleep... Except for her phone ringing loudly, obnoxiously. _Charlie. Persistent bastard._ She stalked over to it, grabbing it and holding it up to her ear as she accepted the call.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW!?"

"... Well good morning to you too, sunshine," Oh... Jasper... Right.

"You are the devil. Why are you up so early?"

"Just... had a feeling someone would need me..." Isabella scoffed, sucking hard on the cigarette until she started to cough violently. Her brain felt slow, and though she shook her head she couldn't quite clear it of the fuzzy, foggy feeling clouding up her thoughts.

"I don't need anyone..." Isabella grumbled as she slid down to her knees, next just lowering her body to the floor to lay her overheated cheek against the cool, cool tile. She knew - partly from the chuckle that came over the receiver, but mostly just because she could hear it herself - that she sounded like a petulant child, but she didn't rightly care about all that at the moment. Now Charlie's futile attempt at persuasion had gotten her all muddled, and the slapping so early in the morning had gotten her brain in a jumble. The cigarette was making her wonderfully light headed... Basically she was too tired, comfortable, and damned content to move from the middle of the living room floor. She brought the cigarette back to her mouth as she rolled over on her side, putting the phone on speaker so she could talk to Jasper a bit easier as she smoked. It would be simplest to hang up but... somehow she craved his entertainment.

"That's not what you said last night...!" Isabella chuckled out smoke, flicking the ashes off next to her knee as she pushed herself up and leaned forward, picking up her phone to set it down on her other knee.

"And what would you know about my activities last night, huh?"

"I know it almost undoubtedly involved sex." Isabella's lips quirked up in an uncontrollable smile at the deadpan reply.

"My, my! But don't you know me so well?"

"You really aren't that hard to figure out..."

"Oh?" The next chuckle had an edge to it she couldn't ever hope to remove. Something in it was a challenge, and she waited for him to continue.

"So what are your plans for the day?" She sighed to hear such a simple, almost _friendly _request of information. He was just fucking with her, right? Because he totally wouldn't just leave her challenge unanswered... That _ass-hat_ was totally going to leave her hanging! She considered hanging up on him for revenge, but just huffed and shook herself of the idea. _Later, there was always later..._

"I dunno. Probably get some groceries... probably get some ass on the side..."

"Wow... feels like I should have seen that one coming..."

"Should have," Isabella nodded slowly, sighing softly as she glanced at the clock nearest her. "Listen, I don't have the time to ch-"

"_No! Jazzy stop her!_" Seriously? Did they think she couldn't hear that?

"Jazzy...? Ohhhh-kay. Whatever..." Jasper sighed into the phone and Isabella smiled.

"It's my sister. _Shut up!_ No, you shut up! Sorry, she's really annoying-"

"Is that the disgustingly hot one or the little edible one?"

"... I'm going to pretend you didn't ask me that-"

"Try asking her that."

"And goodbye to you too, Isabella, I'll be going now," Isabella chuckled as Jasper promptly hung up on her. She knew that would work in leaving her to her own devices. As entertaining as Jasper was, she'd had big plans to fuck his mother today so she couldn't handle any interruptions. First things first, she SERIOUSLY needed a nap...

* * *

"So tell me about your dreams," The beautiful, young woman that sat before Isabella looked too good in a dark skirt and white blouse, the three top buttons undone so the delicious expanse of the tops of her breasts was quite in view for Isabella's starving eyes. _Esme Platt_ was her name, and somehow it just seemed _right_. The name rolled off her tongue very easily. In all actuality, she was _supposed_ to be Esme Cullen, resident housewife in Forks, to a Mr. Carlisle Cullen. But Isabella had found out the woman's day job and _boy_, could she use it to her advantage.

"Which ones?" Isabella wondered with a snort and a bittersweet smile.

"Which ones would you like to tell me about?" Now Isabella laughs humorlessly, smirking at Esme as she closes her eyes and leans back more against the soft leather of the couch she lounges on.

"Mostly, I dream about sweat and sex. To be expected, considering my sensibilities..." She pauses to chuckle, opens her eyes and leans up to grin at Esme. "Which would be quite lacking, let me assure you."

"Oh? So you consider yourself a bad person?" Isabella sighed as she lowered herself to the couch, all traces of emotion absent from her face as she stared impassively at the ceiling.

"You know," There's an unavoidable pull at her lips, and she's grinning without meaning to "I'm absolutely positive about it." She sits up fully now, rolling her shoulders and leaning forwards, her forearms on her knees and a predatory smile curling the corners of her mouth up. "I'm a terrible person! You know those dreams, I think they are of the future, and of the past - little escapades I've had, a few good romps. Whatnot, you know..." She licks her lips as she leans closer. "Multitudinous amounts of sex and scandalous _affairs._" She chuckled huskily then and sat back, throwing her arms wide behind the couch, looking down her nose at Esme and drawling, "And it's sad, not a single one of 'em wanted me for my _sharp_ wit. Shame, ain't it?"

Esme's eyes narrowed, but she nodded tersely. "Why do you speak like that?"

"In what way might you mean?"

"You're extravagant, dramatic. Your speech... it's practically flowery." Isabella tossed her head back and laughed. "It's like you're putting on a show...?"

"Is that it?" Isabella's brows twitched upward, her smirk never dwindling as she studied Esme.

"You're very full of yourself," Esme spoke sharply, sniffing indignantly. Isabella was giving her such an annoyingly patronizing look... and her laugh was _absolutely_ infuriating! Like now, how she was laughing _so_ condescendingly. It made her twitch with barely restrained rage. She wished to snap her ever present pen and notepad in _half._ She knew it would actually be very counter-productive, but Isabella was an especially... _complex_ case. Something about her was off entirely, and Esme was just stubborn enough to pursue her gut instinct to find out what.

"So I've been told, but I prefer when I can come across others that want to be full of me; the perks of joining that club are _numerous_, want to give it the ol' college try?" Esme looked perfectly displeased, and Isabella couldn't help the low chuckle at her expense.

"Allow me to assure you, Miss Swan, I am quite happy without giving _that_ a try," Esme informed her icily. Isabella grinned charmingly back at her.

"Don't knock it 'till you try it, lady," Isabella shot back at her, grin still plastered on her face. Esme looked at her skeptically before rolling her eyes and turning her gaze away.

"Let's return to the matter at hand, shall we?"

"Ah yes, lets! You wanted to hear about my dreams, right? Hear about how I've had them for years? How-how intense they are, how _real?_ I bet what you'd really like to know, however, is what I _am_ in the dreams, right? Am I a participant, a spectator? Honey, I'm the control; I know I'm dreaming, and I enjoy it! Do you know what they call me, in my dreams?" She paused, but not long enough for Esme to interject with her own thoughts, not before Isabella started speaking again. "They call me... _Lothario_." She licked her lips after she'd said it; somehow, it always felt so _satisfying_ when she said the name.

It felt right, like it _was_ hers. _Well, it would be, soon enough._ Given her complete lack of sensibilities, and whatnot. She smiled to herself at the thought and waited for Esme's wide-eyed stare to calm down to a more manageable level of panic. Esme, though much younger than Jasper, appeared to have known more of her than the pale blonde had. Finally, after long moments had passed agonizingly slowly, with Esme's eyes burning into her cheek and her own eyes focused on the paintings adorning Esme's office walls - paintings, she was positive, Esme had done herself - Esme finally gathered her wits about her and took a few seconds to scribble something down on her notepad.

"Do you know the name?" Esme asked, careful to make the question sound purely professional, with NO added emphasis or sharp tones of curiosity seeping through. She failed at this actually, but Isabella only smiled and tilted her head to the side delicately.

"Do you?" The smile gave her away as much as any sob-filled confession could have. Esme's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Have you... any idea what the name could mean?" That condescending laugh returned as Isabella drew herself up, that knowing smirk aimed at her, expression cool and collected, but eyes twinkling with amusement.

"I have every idea what it means, and what you'll have to think about once I leave is _what_ exactly it DOES mean, especially for you," She looked at her watch, clicking her tongue and glancing at Esme with a quite self-satisfied smirk "And would you look at the _time_," She sighed dramatically, throwing her hands up as she stood. "My, but the hour _does_ fly, wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh yes, how fantastically frustrating," Esme grumbled, setting her notepad down in her lap as she flipped a page up to cover her notes.

"Until next week," Isabella took a step towards her, holding one hand outstretched. Esme's brows furrowed in confusion, but she allowed the young woman to take her hand for a handshake. Until Isabella grasped it, turned it so her palm was a facing the floor, and placed a kiss upon the back of her hand. At which point, Esme stole her hand back with a mistrusting glare and irritated huff, and Isabella backed out of her office, hands stuffed into her pockets, laughing. She'd just have to sex up some pretty face and bide her time until next week, and then - a smile curled at her lips once more - then she could finally have a nice, big piece of Esme Platt pie.

* * *

**I didn't want to delve too deeply into Isabella's past yet. You see, her being a huge, heart-breaking bitch we all love to hate - no? Yes? Just me? - actually has everything to do with her past few centuries, duh. But I want her to really be/act fucked up until that point. For character development. I also wanted to show that she doesn't actually live with Charlie... she just picks her mail up from there, crashes on occasion, and steals a few meals from that house. Basically, it's like her inhabited vacation home - at least, that's how she thinks of it. **

**Anyone else noticed how I hinted to dramatics in here? Hmmm?**


	8. Parental Guidance

**Uggh, my grammar is suck-ish T_T But really, all I want in life is just... a blueberry bagel with some yummy cream cheese. Meh, oh well, PLEASE FORGIVE MISTAKES! Thank you**

* * *

Isabella's brow twitched as she fought off an irritated scowl. She ignored the man sitting on her couch for a few good moments, however, tossing her bag next to him and walking into the kitchen. She grabbed two beers from the fridge, walked back into the living room, and then sat in the love seat off towards the side, setting her beers on the table next to her and looking pointedly at Charlie. It was to let him know that neither of these was for him. And yes, this _was_ her revenge on him for showing up, unannounced, in her apartment. Really, if it was illegal for other people to break into her apartment, it was illegal for him too. But he didn't bother to apologize, and soon that scowl couldn't be held back any more.

"What are you doing here, _Charles?_" She spat his name out, formally and with all too much venom. He didn't even flinch. And that made her burn with hatred for a few long moments. _Intrusive bastard._

"Well, _IZZY_-"

"FUCK OFF!" Charlie ignored her growled order, his grim frown settling deeper into her features, etching itself into his bone structure to be forever remembered and used for this sole purpose.

"I came to offer a proposition," he continued on, in the same low, even, deceptively calm tone he had used to begin with. Well, other than when he had sneered her name at her.

"And I can go ahead and guess you know where I'll tell you to stick that proposition?" Again, he ignored her, frown still in place, eyes still colder than Kelvin. Her eyes narrowed in a vicious glare as she let out a low, displeased hiss. Firstly, he bursts into her apartment, _JUST_ this morning, to talk shit to her - all that, of course, AFTER the fact that he _encouraged_ her to go and fuck a taken young woman; but the shit talking was still somehow about the woman. Then he's angry when she doesn't react to his prodding and fucking everything annoying about him. And now, after ALL OF THAT, he breaks into her apartment offering up demands and suggestions and WON'T react when she's being unnecessarily rude. Damn her descendants for being so frustratingly similar to her!

"You see I realized something; it was entirely my fault, what happened to poor Leah-"

"No, that was hers. She broke it off with him, and she didn't give a shit, so... yeah, fuck off now." This time, when he didn't have a reaction, she threw one of the beer bottles in his general direction. He didn't move out of the way, but it just whizzed by his head and burst in a brilliant clamor of shattering glass and the spray of beer splattering everywhere. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!" She, actually, hadn't had sex today. And it was making her feel so... unsatisfied. Without that sweet wetness on her tongue, lips, fingertips, she was feeling fucking antsy; filled with nervous energy and an unfounded anger that she seriously needed to let out with beer, working out furiously, or running out now to find a quick fuck. All of which she couldn't do as long as her _SIRE_ was taking up space and breathable air in her personal bubble. Which, currently, extended a mile. So he should _leave_, before she fucking _made him. _

"So, I'll accept my own faults and move on. That does not, however, change the fact that something needs to be done about you," She was in his face so quickly, he hadn't even time to draw a breath or blink. Her hands were pressed against his neck, not choking, so much as serving as a reminder that although, technically, he had been the vessel that had helped to bring her about into this time, she would be the one to end him. Nevertheless, he glared up at her proudly, defiantly, as if he knew her so well that he could so easily see through her, to the very heart of her - to the part of her that couldn't ever _really_ hurt him like she could anyone else. She hissed lowly, squeezing just shy of choking, before she let him go and took a step back. "You are out of control."

"I am your _elder_," she growled in return, glaring at him with eyes that weren't any one color. They continuously flashed through a myriad of shades and tones, never settling on one for more than half a second - at the _most_. "You have no power, no _right_ to attempt to exert any form of _control_ over ME." He laughed at her, in this bitter, superior sort of way, his expression caught somewhere between a sneer and snarl as he glared at her.

"Not in this lifetime, you aren't! I am your _FATHER_ this time-"

"YOU ARE _NOTHING!_ You are not a bug, squished on the bottom of my shoe! You are not a pile of _dog_ _shit_ in the grass some human was too goddamn lazy to pick up!" She caught the hand he would have slapped her with, squeezing until she heard the crunch of bones breaking under her grip. He hardly winced - he did wince, but just _hardly_ - as he sat there and continued to glare up at her, just as she continued to glare down at him, two forces of nature, two continents not-content with the other, but quite unable to make a move towards conquering the other.

"I am the offspring of that which is your blood," he finally spoke in a low, steely tone, eyes flashing dangerously before a smirk twisted itself out of the angry lines of his mouth. "And I am the one that has complete and total control over _you_. I would suggest you don't forget _that_ particular detail." He expected a dangerous reaction for that one; he expected to be picked and thrown across the room, through a wall or two, but Isabella surprised him by throwing her head back instead and letting out a boisterous bout of laughter. When at last she calmed down, she had fallen back into the loveseat, so she took a moment to grab the beer and take a quick swig before she set it back down and hunched forward, leaning her forearms against her knees as she fixed him with a smirk.

"Oh really now? And how's that?" Her amused smirk stayed even as Charlie's wicked, triumphant smile split his face. _Whatever_; she knew he didn't have anything substantial enough for him to have any form of _control _over her.

"Well, you see, as it turns out... I'm in contact with your _Father_," That smirk quickly dropped as the breath rushed out of her lungs. For the expression on her face, he might as well have punched her in the gut; and he was just delighted by the expression, because he knew for sure that he had won. _Finally._

"F-... Y-you can't _possibly_ mean-"

"Oh, but I _do_ mean him," Charlie's wicked smile widened to impossible proportions as he leaned forward. "And do you know what? He left _me_ in charge!" The other beer bottle went whizzing by his head, but flying by on the other side, shattering and spraying the back of his head, neck, and shoulders with beer. Despite the reaction, her face was deceptively stony and blank as she stared impassively back at him.

Her father, _Father_ - in other words, the original Lothario - didn't come back in every lifetime as she did. His entries into the timeline were more sporadic than hers were, and as such it wasn't terribly often that they shared an existence time. She had a pretty good sense for his appearances, however, and could usually tell when he and she were alive at once. She'd felt nothing that should make her inclined to believe that Lothario was alive now.

"You're lying." Charlie shook his head in the negative, smile a combination between pitying and amused.

"I'm not. I communicate with him regularly, updating him on your status," Isabella's impassive face was slowly but surely souring into a deep, dark frown. "And,_ my_, but it would be _too easy_ for me to call him up and... I don't know, tell him that his daughter has been letting him down..." Her eyes narrowed dangerously, fingernails digging into the leather of her seat as she fought not to leap at him once again.

"You're _LYING!_"

"For Lothario so loved his first child that he sacrificed his soul, so that she might live a full life after hers was stolen too young," Charlie began in a deep, sharp tone, his voice rising while Isabella looked on and silently seethed. "And his sacrifice was so NOBLE, so great, that he himself was given life, so that he might watch over the one he forfeit IN HER HONOR!" He paused for a few long moments, returning the glare she was attempting to set his soul afire with. "_And look what you've done with that life!_"

"AND WHAT HAVE I DONE, HUH!? _WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?!_" Isabella finally pushed herself up, screaming at the top of her lungs, hands balled into tight fists that shook by her sides. _One wrong word and she would fucking END him._

"_NOTHING_," Charlie roared back, just as loud as Isabella, just as furious. "YOU. DID. **NOTHING.**" He was panting and red in the face when he stopped, and she wasn't in much better state; but she was just well enough to be given paused by the yells still echoing around in her skull to the background of the blood rushing in her ears. She almost felt a new wave of anger rush away with what sense she had keeping her from attacking, but Charlie began to speak again - in a remarkably calmer tone - before she could allow the emotion to rise. "You don't have plans for the future; hell, you've _got_ no future! No plans for college, or a job, you aren't trying to accomplish anything or be anyone; all you do, all you ever do is _fuck_. Emotionlessly. You aren't even looking for love, _for God's sake!_ You break hearts, walk away, forget with a fuck and a goddamn DRINK!"

"And WHY should that matter to me!?" Isabella cut in sharply, arms crossed protectively over her chest, sneer decorating her face. "Why should I give a damn about that, ANY of that, ALL OF THAT!?"

"BECAUSE-"

"NO, FUCK THAT! You don't _GET_ an opinion, Charlie! Not until you've lived and died, and died, and died, AND FUCKING DIED AS MANY TIMES AS I'VE HAD TO!" She turned from him suddenly, and began pacing the space of the living room. "My third life, I decided to pursue knowledge. Become a smart woman, that could read and write and _do_ stuff, be held up amongst peers of _men_. So I did; I learned to read and write and then I died."

"So you just gave up then?" Charlie, still resolutely holding on to that righteous anger, dared to assume. She, surprisingly, refrained from attacking him for it; instead she threw back her head and laughed bitterly.

"Oh no, I was stubborn. Downfall of all my lifetimes, I'm afraid," She smiled snidely at him, and continued. "My fourth, fifth, eighth, sixteenth, seventeenth, twenty-third, thirty-seventh were all in pursuit of knowledge. And I died every time. Murder. Accident. Sickness. Didn't matter what, just when - and I never managed to turn twenty five in _any_ of them. Sad thing, that. Maybe why I'm so _fucking childish, _right?" Charlie didn't look as guilty as he should, or as cowed as she would have liked; oh no, he was actually just fixing her with this sad-puppy-eye pitying look that made her feel as though she was to get violently ill all over him. She wished she could.

"So is that when you gave up?" The question was wholly innocent now, but it enraged her to no end.

"NO! I'M A FUCKING IDIOT, SO I KEPT TRYING! Because I figured, stupidly, that maybe if I kept on trying to do something then I could finally live, and die, and NOT. COME. BACK! But _NOTHING _was ever good enough. No accomplishment too great to astound; no feat overcome too dauntingly impressive to allow me the gift of mortality. I just died. And I died. And I FUCKING died! But I kept trying. I KEPT. TRYING. And there was a time when I tried to 'follow me heart', right? Find my '_true love_'," she practically spat the words out, scowling as if they left a terrible taste in her mouth. "And I thought... I actually thought I'd done it. In a life, I'd found someone special; and I remember her, and how I wanted her but I never even... I never even _touched _her, but I wanted to... I... I _wanted_ to, and I didn't, but..."

"You... died?" Charlie guessed, almost flinching once the words left his lips, expecting another loud, yelling reaction to his question. What she did surprised him; as he watched, she stopped her pacing and just... stood. Staring at the wall, presenting the perfection of her profile to him. And as he watched... her eyes closed and a single tear slipped past the border of her lashes. He almost couldn't hold in the _ARE YOU CRYING!?_ that danced just on the tip of his tongue.

"No," When she turned her face to him, it was strangely devoid of emotion, but he held onto the image of the tear that she only just remembered to wipe away. "She did. And... I _really_-" she broke off, swallowing the thickness of her voice and clearing her throat, averting her gaze once again as long-buried feelings rushed back through the lines of her lifetimes and struck her heart. "I really thought... _I thought she was my end...!_ And she wasn't. She died, and then I realized, only _THEN_ did I realize that there's no point in trying, because I'll never have enough time. No matter what I do, how many lives I live, I'll never have enough time.

"Love? That's a joke; I don't have the time it takes to find and fall for the person that's perfect for me. And... I know what it is to lose someone you've come to care for; I refuse to put my selfish desires first at the expense of another. So _yeah_, I break hearts. That's better than leading them on and cutting it tragically, making them suffer so much more in the long run. Knowledge? I've lived long, seen a lot; the only truth I know is that of the inescapability of death. Future? I've never seen the sun shine on a birthday greater than twenty eight years. There are times when I've died before I was three years of age. I never know when I'll die, but I know that I will. So please, tell me Charlie, _why_ should I care?"

"Bella deserves a chance," Charlie sighed tiredly, rubbing at his temples. _He_ could feel how weary she was, and it was this oppressive force that weighed down on his soul. Or maybe that was Isabella's doing; there really was no telling. "And there's nothing wrong with another try." Isabella scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"You say that-"

"Because it's TRUE!" Charlie insisted, ignoring Isabella's mild glare of annoyance at his interruption. "Everyone deserves a second chance at love-" She winced, then sneered; he ignored the look. "Even you."

"I _told_ you, I don't have the _time_-"

"And how do you know that? How do you know you'll be dead tomorrow?" She sighed loudly, scowling at him for a long moment while he patiently waited for her response.

"I don't-"

"Exactly! You could have all the time in the world, for all you know!"

"Yeah," she snorted. "Or _not._"

"Or so," Charlie insisted lightly, smiling despite the scowl still aimed at him. "What's wrong with just _one_ more try, hmm?"

"Fine! I'm tired, alright!" her voice was rising again, but with a tone of exasperation coloring her words now instead of anger. "I'm just... _really_ tired. Of living. Of dying. Of trying. I'm _exhausted._"

"And yet you still somehow manage to find the strength to fuck meaninglessly and break hearts," Charlie intoned, tone dripping skepticism.

"THAT'S BECAUSE-" Isabella stopped suddenly, biting her lip hard and taking sharp breaths through her nose. She swallowed, exhaled slowly - in the best attempt she could make for calming herself down - and began speaking in a low, even tone. "I gave up on love. I said that. I explained it-"

"Hardly," Charlie grumbled, but Isabella only paused long enough to let out an irritated huff at the petulant interruption before continuing on.

"-To the best of my abilities. I fuck and break hearts because no attempt on my part to find my purpose in any lifetime has been successful enough to spare me the chore of reliving, and I've simply given up on finding my purpose. I figured, 'well golly gee, I wonder if I can do the dirty enough that I'll reach the status of my father, and then I can finally end this whole nonstop party of one,' and you know, I don't feel any less empty or jaded with each passing of my life, but I sure do feel better than if I wasn't fucking around." Charlie sighed lowly, studying her through narrowed eyes, searching for any signs of deception. But she was being honest, completely and totally; and somehow it bothered him that she was. When she got the chance to explain it all from her side, everything she was (and _wasn't_) doing seemed perfectly logical and within her right as an immortal to do. Admitting that meant that he'd given her free reign to whore herself out, drink copious amounts, and don't give a general fuck about anything else that came in between those activities.

"Yes, well you're still out of control-"

"And I've a right to be!" Isabella interjected, earning a glare from Charlie which she returned quite earnestly. _He had the gall to glare at her when he'd been interrupting her constantly?_

"And until you can learn a little restraint," Charlie paused now for dramatic effect. She didn't bother to resist the urge of yawning overdramatically, in order to indirectly inform him that he was seriously boring the fuck out of her. "I'm grounding you." Isabella blinked slowly, allowing herself time to digest the words, before she burst out into a mad fit of laughter. "From sex." And then... _silence._ He grinned in the quiet, waiting oh-so patiently for the storm that would ravage this quite temporary calm; it came in the form of even more boisterous laughter.

"BAAHAHAHA! You're KIDDING, right!? HAAAHAHAHAH, that's hilarious, really, bravo," she started to clap for him, cheering and jeering and whistling loudly. But he only smiled along with her. "'cept the part where you're an imbecile and I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want 'till I die."

"Until your _body_ dies, you mean?" She shrugged, making some noncommittal noise of vague agreement. "Right, okay then; so you're going to give Bella's body lung cancer and die slowly and painfully? Or you'll give her a STD and let her suffer, is that it? I'm forgetting the part where MY DAUGHTER has to repent for YOUR SINS?! No, I'm not forgetting anything. But you are forgetting just what I'm capable of..." She chuckled darkly, leaning forward and fixing him with an amused, almost-smug smile - that was leaning more towards a sneer than anything, really.

"Oh, right, what _you're_ capable of, that makes _ALL_ the difference," she snorted, rolling her eyes at him. "Whatever; you aren't-"

"And how easy would it be to call your daddy up and tell him about all your escapades with men this time around?" The smile dropped from her face, twisting into a scowl of displeasure that widened his own answering grin.

"Father would be proud of me no matter wha-"

"And, _oh gee_, I wonder how he would feel about your pregnancy?" She opened her mouth then to deny that claim, the 'I'm _NOT_ pregnant' teasing her tongue, but she couldn't find the words. She just stared at him in wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock that this boy she had been there for in the beginning, this man she had done her best to not burden by living on her own but playing nice for the public, this fucking _heathen_ that would dare to threaten her with her own goddamned Father; as if she were a child. _But fuck, he was good..._

"He would be delighted that his line would continue strongly," Isabella managed to force through gritted teeth, her eyes hard enough to cut diamond like a sharp knife through warm butter. Charlie chuckled, much the same manner she had before; dark, foreboding. His grin was wide enough to land a damn plane on, and it made her dour mood drop even more. Because she knew, without a doubt, that this man was indeed her family. His manipulative ability was too progressed for him to not be of her very own blood.

"Oh? But that abortion you were having me drive you to..." Now, after all of the jibes and harsh words, after her fury had risen and fell like a roller coaster designed by Satan for the enjoyment of the insane; only now was it that she stood up, actually _spat_ on him, and turned on her heel to walk away. "ONE MONTH!" he called after her. _One month without sex!?_

"_FUCK YOU!_" she yelled back, before slamming the door to her bedroom as hard as humanly possible. Charlie chuckled again as he stood up, casting a glance at the mess behind the couch - that of broken beer bottles and spilled/splattered beer - before he shrugged and went on his merry way out of the apartment. She could take care of her own messes. She would have to, now.

* * *

**Okay, so no sex, booo, but hey look at that - is that a plot line I see, developing on the horizon!? Oh goo'ness! WATCH OUT, Y'ALL, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, OH NOOO! Anyway, review if you'd like, don't if ya don't. But don't flame, and don't question my authority... I've plans for Izzy, and she will have a heart, damn it; if it's the last thing I do! That being said, feel free to ask questions and I'll answer to the best of my ability ^^**


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